you want to waste your time,

that is your problem.

but don't you fucking dare to waste mine

i may be a temporary staff,

but i'm training you and i have things to teach you

so you better play by my rules

1) efficiency

- don't wait to be asked, deliver before it is needed

2) quality

- slipshod work is not an option

3) thorough

- even if you don't have the materials, get it (somehow) and deliver

4) surpass

- just right is for others, i provide the best

5) finish

- ensure that tasks are handed over and are closed with no loose ends

my goal is to do such a good job

that my presence will be missed

so with or without your help,

i will surpass and outshine your sorry ass

and you will have a tough road to catch up

so you either learn from the legacy

or spend your contract

chasing after me, eating my dust

this space has been neglected for so long

so, if you're with me...

exams were so damn stressed,

i turned to the biggest sin

it had taken a huge toil on me

but alas, it is over and i can heave a large sigh of relief

after which, i let loose and really just let my hair down

although things didn't go ahead as planned,

deep down, i'm kinda glad it didn't

i got to spend some quiet time with myself

just relaxing and getting to wind down

i also got to hang out with my newfound sim friends

which was beyond my wildest dreams

mind you, i didn't plan on making friends

yet i met this bunch of crazy laughing gang (:

i even went to malaysia with them

of course with bryan to be our tour guide,

leading the way and feeding me such awesome scrumptious food

i could hardly walk after the whole trip

i met up with the team and spent some quality time with them

having a farewell dinner for johan really brought me back to old times

and how we were all like a family

but enough of that sob story

met up with nicholas and joel

carmen and other sim classmates

super fun times! (:

i also got to spend more time with my beloved boyfriend

and he even surprised with a trip to uss

making him take all the adrenaline-pumping rides

and having his face smack into a flying bird was just downright funny!

now i'm winding down enough (it's a lie! it's never enough)

i realise i gotta start planning my time

and getting to some serious business

i can't just laze my break away (well, technically i can, but i shouldn't)

and i should either start working

or starting something else more productive than lazing around

but the time will come when it will happen

for now, i'm just counting down the days till jeremy returns to our homeland

all the way at australia with the many snake species, marsupials and whatnots

home is where he should be

and i miss him so

i've been verbalising this on every social/online media i have

and i'm not shy/afraid to do so here

(there is no such thing as overdoing it, for me at least)

so, HURRY BACK! I MISS YOU!!!

*insert heart*

(blogger will mess the text up cause it works on html and the "less than" symbol is shorthand for starting a new code)

GAHHH, feels good to get it all out

till next time, peace out!

falling sick sucks

slacking prior to exams suck too

everything sucks

i'm craving a late night snack

but i also know i have to go sleep soon

otherwise i will not wake up in time for school

damn my body clock

it has been such a long time since i've updated on this space. and this time i'm back because i need to get things off my chest and it will be incoherent, it will be messy (ie topics jumping back and forth with no links whatsoever), it will be grammatically incorrect, and it will be painful to read, to say the least.

joining the army has been something that's been in my life for as long as i can remember. there was a period of time when i actually didn't think about it and actually thought that i will pursue something else, something totally unrelated to the army and serving the nation. but then i entered jc, a step in my life that i believe changed me in a really big way. there, i slowly grew up and physically mentally and emotionally experienced what it is to grow up and start living in the real world. yes, you may think that i'm exaggerating and that i know shit about the real world. but we all perceive things differently, so get off my back. one day, there was a career talk, and what a surprise, i attended the army recruitment talk. there, they shared about all three branches of the military: the navy, air force and the army. from that moment on, i was sold. after that, i grew more and more determined to enter that force and do my part, however small it may be. however, from that day till now, i've met so more obstacles and "don't join the army la" than i can count. and as strong-headed as i am, i'm daunted and i'm crushed. so many people believe that i'm not cut out to be in the army, so many people shoot me down even before i was given the chance to try. there is nothing you can never get out of. nothing, except death. and to some, the army is a death sentence, but not to me. this is my dream we're talking about, it's my choice we're discussing. not yours and definitely not your life. yet all these people are forcing onto me their thoughts and beliefs. and so what if i'm not cut out for the army, so what if my perception of the army is not what it really is? let me go, let me learn, let me fail. so that i will know. and if i come out of my contract even more crushed and proving you right, i will be more the wiser. i'm not looking for a fairytale ending or a perfect scenario. i just want to do what i believe i want.

at the end of the day, i choose to put it behind me. i choose to not pursue it. i choose to put my future family, my future lifestyle before weeks of overseas operations and outfields and camou on. it will remain more of a fantasy than an actually goal.

ohkay, i lost all motivation to blog, wtf. shall end here.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, 

ask a student who failed a grade. 

 

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, 

ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby. 

 

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, 

ask the editor of a weekly newspaper. 

 

To realize the value of ONE DAY, 

ask the person who was born on February 29th. 

 

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, 

ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. 

 

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, 

ask a person who missed the train. 

 

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, 

ask a person who just avoided an accident. 

 

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, 

ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

-Anonymous

more on the value of time

everyone more or less knows this quote and it makes so much sense

time is so valuable and everyone of us knows it

yet there are more times where we disregard it or even ignore this fact

because we think that we have so much time

yet we do not and as hard as it is to fathom

we are going to turn to ashes sooner than you know it

we keep track of our time with calenders and schedules

we while away the "free days" and tell ourselves that time is not that limited

we idle around till the very last minute before we realise how far back we are

and then try to chase the lost time

but it is not unknown to anyone that it is an impossible task

i am a victim of this

i am a doer of this

i am a culprit of this

i while away my time

thinking that i am as free as a bird

and when deadlines creep closer

i don't budge

but when deadlines are just days away

i panic and scream, i blame and shout

similarly, i idle away my holidays

and rush through the weekends

and at the end of the day

i enjoy so little that it seems as though it's a waste of time

and i regret my actions

and when you love someone

there's never enough time

that is a very sad but true fact

so carpe diem as much as you can

don't let time waste a way

finally had some tauhuey this weekend

been thinking about it for the longest time,

but didn't have the time to go get some

and no, it's not due to the tauhuey craze going on right now

1) i've been craving it for the longest time (even before it got so popular)

2) i've been eating rochor tauhuey before all you "hipsters" knew about it

3) it reminds me of my granddaddy

jeremy and i at my friend's 21st birthday dinner

as much as i love my oakleys spectacles,

there are days when i feel more

old-red-plastic-ugly-betty-specs

and even though the power for the left lens is lower

for my old red ones

i still like that red funky pair

so i've decided to go get the specs tightened

along with my oakleys

so on days i wanna wear those red ones,

i will

i have been called tomboy even before i was bored

but now, when people say i look like a boy,

i wanna punch them straight in the face

i think i am more affected that people comment i look like a boy

because of my short hair

i wanna punch them

and ask them to go suck my metaphoric balls

this is damn incoherent

doing everything else but what i need to do

fucking CAs

why do you exist?

just to watch me suffer?

went to timbre @substation last friday

and as usual 53A was playing (MEGA YAY!)

then someone requesting for "I Won't Give Up"

by jason mraz

i've heard it a few times, but somehow that day it was different

maybe it was sara's voice, or the way she sang it

or maybe it was because that was a special night with jeremy

(he had a 24hr shift duty the next day, so he only has that night out,

so he sacrificed sleep time to bring me to timbre. SO SWEET)

or maybe the stars aligned (what bullshit am i pulling?)

but anyway, the song tugged on my heart strings

and touched my heart

it was awesome

the lyrics are so meaningful

and every line and word and syllable

struck a chord and made sense to me

jason mraz is an amazing song writer

jeremy, i won't give up on you

or this relationship or us

no doubt it'll be tough

but i won't give up, that's for sure

i love you! (:

i watched The Vow on saturday with jeremy

and it got me thinking,

a lot in fact

how do people move on from such a traumatic event?

to not be able to remember what you built

and to lose a whole fragment of your past

to no longer be able to feel what you feel for someone

seeing your loved one just fade away into another being before your eyes

to feel like you lost that person forever (or till their memory comes back)

living in the fear of not regaining the memory

and doing everything you can in hopes of triggering something from the past

to not lose hope and not give up

to feel the helplessness of not being able to do anything

to just not be able to remember

seriously hating where i am now

i hate studying and the pressure is just fucking insane

i just want to live without having to care so much about a gawddamn paper

seriously, i want to move out of this society and just be me

this is bullshit