this is goona be a short post...really wanna clear things up and move on.people out there really need to clear their ears.if it still doesn't work,go find a quieter place.get your facts rite and please dun act like a god.no one owes you a life.no one need to have a good attitude towards anybody.and it also means you.if your attitude and actions are pleasant,then things would have turned out pleasant too.and if you resort to such lowdown acts then you can gurantee that i've utterly lost my complete respect to any one of you.

so things are cleared.let's move on...

now,its clear that wr has broken out between us.to think that we were so close and now...this has to happen.i dun intend to be friends with her at all but we were friends before.but it has to end like this...i mean,probably we were just to close for comfort.haha.but i kinda have to thank you too.so that i can see your TRUE colours.i dun understand why you have to be so mean.(to feng la.feng dun scold me hor)i mean what or who makes you think that you can just walk down the aisle and pick up this toy and then have real great fun with her.then throw her aside...its just so not fair to her.i mean everyone has feelings.even you.but when you treat our feelings disrespectfully,we will take eye for an eye and repay you back the way you've treated us.many a times,people say to disregard the presence of people like you and just let them do things they like.but i feel that although its the peaceful way to resolve the problem,the problem isn't solved.if we dirsregard your presence,you may think that its alright to do so and continue.nope,for me i'll take action.really take action.but you have better thank the person you call deardear.he had asked me to not take action.haiz.i was so pissed off with him.but his decision is his.i never force him.but whatever la ok?

its funny how you can come up with excuses so nicely.it seems as though you are so used to being questioned?whatever it is...i'm just tired of all your lies and presence.im tired of this war and the fact that it's so difficult and tiring to keep up with the war.but as i said today,you have gotten what asked for...

peace out...

haiz...today is such a high low day...as usual,i was freaking high during breaks.ESPECIALLY during recess...i was like dancing around.haha...and freaking high.then i kept on trying to sing the jojo-too little too late de high pitch part.haha.so funny.haha.but some parts really pissed me off... q:

well of them is something that happened during chinese class.today we have physics prac. before chinese.so by the time we reached class most of the other people reach le.then it all started...

in the class
esther:omg...karen and jingxuansitting at our places leh.
me:huh?!

me:(to jingxuan)sorry...i'm sitting here.
jingxuan:but got people sit our places already
me:but i'm sitting here.
(she nothing to say and reluctantly stood up)
(turns to karen)
me:ummm.karen,she's sitting there
karen:can you dun talk until liddat?no need to talk until so unpleasent one
(no written word to word but is very near this)

i'm like *chicken neh neh* la.i dun need to say anything.i dun wanna waste my breathe.BIATCH!

then also got the zikang thing.but i lazy to type.haha.but he's a major bastard and i'm gonna make him regret offending me.haha.i'm gonna make him suffering and make she he's so embarrassed he dun come near me. q:

haha.anyway,i kinda feel that that girl is dumb and very contradicting.haha. q:

peace out.

you know sometimes you feel that you know the person.but it turns out that you dun know the person at all.or its just that the person changed so much and so drastically that you feel that the person is like some complete stranger.sometimes its just too difficult and too much to accept.but what can i say?perople change.some fast,some slow.nobody knows how much,when and all this.some people believe life is predestined,some believe that we path our own life.whats you pick?to me,i agree with both.life is predestined that whatever is going to happen,He knows.as in He knows we are gonna take this path and He knows that we are going to do this.so in fact it is predestined and we choose our own life.(although i'm not christian,i believe that ther's a god and all gods are the same.just that to different religions,their gods come in different form.this belief is neither racist nor against any religion)

talking about life,i believe that no one owes anyone a life and that if anyone thinks that they owe anyone a life,they need to rethink their definition of life and find a meaning in life.likewise to people who think that others owe them a life.i mean no one owes anyone a life because we are the owners of our own life.if we let others run our life,we might as well find a new life.when others run our life,its as if we have lost our soul and our feelings.remember,we run our OWN lives.

anyway,after much thought,i've decided to turn over a new leaf and really really stop cursing.and also i'll stop my unreasonable acts and stop hitting people for no particular reason.however i will still stand up for my own rights if i ever have to.but rome wasn't build in a day so it'll some time but i'll work on it and try to accomplish as soon as possible.

time has made me realise that somethings cannot be forced.and really,people say that impossible is nothing.sometimes its really means nothing.nothing will be the outcome.i've decided to let go of him and i hope to really walk out of this everlasting crush.i mean,i don't want to be stuck in the one-way road to nowhere.i want to get somewhere and i'll have to work to get results.no pain no gain!

i have also made a resolution to train really hard this year round.and train whenever i can.also,i want to work really hard academically too.i want to work towards 7 points.and to really clinch a firm foothold,all my results must be high A1s and A2s so that at least i have a certain answer.

yppae will finally start next sunday!i've waited so long!not only because i'm really bored on sundays,i miss the people too!i didn't know i'll miss them.i mean,i know i'll miss the gang because we are so close.but i also miss my huas!haha.and the wuyas and the maos and everyone!haha.so happy that we'll be seeing each other again!haha.yay to sundays!haha.family!haha.

this is really a long post and i don't know who would come to read.but i will still be as crazy as nutter!haha. (:


i love my BESTIES!!!
peace out and takkaire! (:

haha...what should i post today...hmmm... q: dunno what to post sia..haha..never occurred to me that i have nothing to post.well actually have la...but is kinda depressing.later stancome and scold me.haha...say everytime also emo and pissed..haha..but i'm gonna post anyway.stan dun blame me...i'll find happy things to post soon.haha

so had training on wednesday for xcountry.bah~sucks la can... ): totally didn't train during the hols.was busy with chiong-ing homework and also the rehearsals.haha...so during xcountry training,had to take in the ugly truth...totally sucked...but i'm determined to train hard.and do myself proud... (: jiayou me!

i'm tired of your lies.i'm tired of being there with you and being at your disposal when you took me for granted.i've had enough.you're on your own...dun turn to me,ever...since you always have a decision planned beforehand why still ask us for advice?i mean,you've already made a decision...so dun come and waste our time.we have spent time and effort and all you did was to push us aside and pretend we dun exist?i dun understand why she still helps you.you said you've wronged many people?i change my statement.you did.and you still do.wake up!i'm giving up on you.so takkaire...

anyway...so far had two test.maths(e) and physics.haiz...both also got make mistakes.but maths confirm fail.lost 19 marks straight on.just great!haha.

i dun wanna have tuition stress but then it would be good to have tuition and allow me to do really well.i mean...it will enrich me and it will help me do better.way better.i dunno.i mean i need time to think.i dunno...i'll talk to my parents.but its ex yeah?$240 for 4 x 2h sessions.haha...we'll see...

anyway,i think there's something wrong with cbox.all the cboxes cannot type message.tsktsktsk...

haiz.stress le.and so fast.third week of the term.there's a long time yeah?anyway...i'm feeling rather demoralised by some stuff at school which sucks bigtime.haiz... ):

reply taggies
jinxuan:haha.yup.agreed.SCREWED!!! (:
jinyong:haha.i dunno.but i'll write about happy stuff more often.thanx... (: rock on!

ok.now i really hate you.how could you?fucked up bastard.go and get a room la ok?stop hanging out in class like the rest of us are invisible.i wanna do my work.so dun gross me out.and you're just a spineless stubborn and selfish coward!fuck!get a life thats out of mine!

AHHHHH!!!!

i'm so effing pissed off now!

who do you think you are?asking me to stop my only way of venting anger.you watch out!ask me to stop and i'll find new ways to vent my effing anger.how 'bout in her face?how 'bout i slash a few cuts on her effing "pretty" face?she thinks she's so tough,she thinks she's so innocently cute.dun even try me.i dun understand why i'm just so effing nosey.i even bother to bother about that "brother" of mine.i should just give him up.he never understands and always stand on her side."well,thanks for everything"...you've wronged many people?well,fact is you've just wronged yourself.you dun accept the fact,then you'll suffer...i dun care who you are.you piss me off and you'll geddit!i dun care if i'm a councillor or not...dun make me flare up...you'll fucking regret!

fact is,now i regret having you as a brother.you just make me tear.sad tears.thanx for the wonderful smokescreen though... ):

fucking bad mood.so bad i could kill.i wanna hate him...but i can't bring myself to hate you la.happy?just count me unlucky to have you as a brother.takkarie,i'm off.

):

haha...so life carries on.totally boring and packed.haha.but getting used to la...haha.but sometimes i really regret a decisions that i made which might be right.as in i told him i'll stay out because i dun want things to fall apart because of that bitch.at that point of time i really meant it and its right to not interfere in stuff that doesn't concern me.but now that i think of it,its not worth it.i meani so think that they both deserve each other.really but in a bad way.and sometimes,no most of the time...she doesn't deserve him.but who am i to say.even i'm not him,i feel hurt and betrayed for him.i mean no one says you can't hang out with out people of the opposite sex.but at least make it clear.i dunno la...others have different thinking.this is just a one-sided opinion.haha.whatever!DROP IT hazel!stop dwelling on it.haha...

changing subjects,i'm feeling rather dumb myself.i'm huachi-ing for like forever!haha.i keep telling myself that its part of the phase of forgetting him.yes,i've made up my mind to forget him.but i never said it was easy.and i know that it isn't easy.but i want it to end soon.its absorbing the life and energy out of me.i dun feel as crazy as i used to be.i really miss 2006.there was 2e5'06 and also yppae production!it was so fun!(starts tearing cause of emo feelings )': )haha...but after i get over this phase once and for all,i'll be my old self again.as crazy as ever.i kinda feel that the craze i'm displaying ain't real craze.as in i feel that i'm just putting an act.i dunno...but just wait and expect more from me...when people say,as you grow older,you mature and fun just fades away.well its true but there's one thing that doesn't change.craze!however old you are.,there's this tingling feeling in you...thats craze.i believe that all humans have fun craziness in them.even adults.they just have to conceal it cause they have to "act"mature.haha...anyway...anything,i'm here.haha (:

takkaire...as yida and stanand ern would always say,"TAKE A CHILL PILL"haha... peace out (:

haha...i'm back after very long to post.actually long ago wanted to post.but lazy to la.haha.anyway,today went out with my yppae friends.but then like very diao liddat.alot people can't come then had no plans.so first,met up with yida then go mac eat.waited for weineng to come.then after that went to play pool but all full.then go the cathay building to eat then yida go home.then both of us walk to bugis meet xiao jun.liying can't make it in the end.then xiao jun come,weineng go home.then walk around bugis looking for a bag.but too bad,can't find my IDEAL one.haha.

anyway,i really think that being a concillor,you're still HUMAN!so i dun think its fair to confine us councillors to be really guai and shirts tucking in like its connected to the skirt.i think that being a councillor we have to be an example.so just be neat and keep unallowed stuff away from the teachers sight.like i dun care if you bring or not.just dun get caught by the teachers.simple as that.i dun care if you put extension for your shirt.just appear neat.i dun care if you bring mp3 or handphones.just dun get caught.i even warn the kids about spotchecks and crap.haiz.i dun care what you think.i'm human and i wanna bring my handphone to school.bite me! q:

so school started got to know the teachers le.but lessons haven't officially start yet.haiz.dunno how i'm gonna cope though.hehe.anyway,i got a haircut and it wasn't what i wanted.dun really like it but all my relatives and mumsay ok.haha.well,good luck to all the poor peeps like me who need to study.jia you!peace out. (:

so today's the first day of the new year,2007.so i really have to say it was a fun-filled year with lots of drama and happenings.good and bad,happy sad.but on a whole,it was an enjoyable year.but i really miss 2006.but i know 2007 will be better.other then the homework and exams and stress.its more or less fine.school kinda gets on my worry list too.i mean i just went to check the timetable and its so sickening to realise you get teachers that kill and the timing kills too.as in look at the time!i'll be considered tohave my whole life spent there from morning to late afternoon for approximately 9 months.that just totally sucks balls!argh!but we're doing the production again.so its cool!frankly,i can't wait to graduate.i mean.just this year,i was crying because i didn't want this year to end.but other part of me wants to graduate and get on with the interesting part of life.haha.i dun rally wanna spend my life going to school and staying there doing work.ok learning stuff is cool and important.but studying isn't my interest.(dun go duh and say,its nobobdy's interest)there are people who ain't nerds but like to study and its their interest.as for me.i wanna "study" in yppae.i mean other then ma,i dun see what's not fun with yppae.i've got friends and seniors juniors.then its drama and acting and by luck some dance.she brings in lots of different directors ad they're great expect for that mother-fucking bastard.i have to really thank her for bring in Aaron Guo(guo ya fu) and Ix Wong(huang tian bao)to come in this time.it was so great working with them.haha.i'm gonna miss them.haiz.

and soon,really really soon,life is back to its normal self and school starts again.wth!but i'll feel really out of place cause i'm already used to going to yppae and drama centre for rehearsals.and rushing all day for the performance.haiz.i just love that life.but school is still important yeah?haiz.i have so much homework to do and i haven't finish half of them.wth!i'm so screwed la.haiz.tsktsktsk myself!

but anyway,good luck in the new year and takkaire!peace out. (:

haha....so the performance is over and i can say that it was fairly satisfying,onmy part.i mean i can do better and i will for the march rerun.so after the last show on 30th dec 2006,some of us helped to bring the props back to yppae.me,my lil bro,weineng,xiaojun,yunzhou,yingxi,shulin jie,mingxiu jie.helped then after we reached yppae on foot,the others left except for me,my bro and xiaojun.then we waited for the first trip of props and helped to carry the props up lor.we helped till like 12 somethingbut couldn't wait for the third trip though.so that was that.the next day,we met at 11 to have lunch and then head down to yppae to pack stuff.1 reached and started packing.the shoes and prepared for the "buffet" later.but in the middle,ma ask us to have a meeting on what to do with the huge props.like the house.and so we planned and in the end,finished packing the whole thing into M31 at 10 plus.so we decided to skip dinner and go to esplanade to watch the fireworks display.it was freaking cool.we walked all the way to like the bridge at esplanade drive there.then people spray us la.damn!but the fireworks display very very nice.a must-watch la.haha.then went to vt to play sparklers.and hugged each other.haha.we were doing really cray stuff.but we didn't care.we had much fun.then slowly we went home lor.i reached home at like 0355.so quite cool la...haha.must thank yeujia,yingxi,jinxuan,xiaojun,mingjing,weineng,xueyu and yingjie for the humongous amount of fun tonight!haha.

everyone,HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (: