crybaby

haiz.its been a while since i updated my blod.haiz.ok so i'll like to tell you everything i did since friday.wanna hear?

friday
so today we're doing our CIP at the science centre.we went there and realised that bukit panjang high was there too.we got divided very unevenly and unfairly to our work areas.i got the tentage and was with most of the class.there were booths ans there are single activities going on at the booths.most were puzzles.and i got one.haha.the day was well.but i was very warm and we were all sweating.haha.at the end,we roamed the place till it closed.haha.we ended like at 5 ++.haha.

saturday
today is my first official councillor duty.haha.was to usher parents to the place where the teachers of their child would be.haha.actually ushered THREE times wrong.haiz.was like super embarassed.and one pair were like super angry lah.when they left,there were like practically storming off.sian.then it was like super warm.and everyone was like perspiring likewe all just had a bath or something.haha.but on the whole it was ok.and i got praised.haha.at least let me brag a little mah.haha.

sunday
haiz.today i did a little boo boo.during da ban class,we all had to go up and do our thing like every week.but i was super not ready to do it lah.then is like i ask the girls to play all together.but the teacher didn't allow and stuff.then i cried cause i really didn't dared to do it lah.haiz.then i feel like a failure lah.haiz.then the teacher said tothe class in chinese"as you can see,these girls(yeu jia,ying jie and jin qing)are the best in this class cause they put in effort."at that very moment,i felt like a super failure lah.i dun think that the teacher mean to suan me and stuff.maybe he was but,i was like super on the verge to cry again and i did!haiz.sian.all i know is to cry.very failure leh.i just dunno how to explain.cause i'm a failure.and i'm dumb too.so i can't possibly know any other words to express myself.haiz.sian.

signing off.takkaire.

haha

now is the period after receass and is like we're in the computer lab for science to learn how to log in to our e-learning portal.haha.then after we know how to download the file,we can use the com.haha.watever.then is like now got free period lor.can use com and everything.haha.

today going to expo for the food exhibition.haha.cause li fang pull me go.haha.no lah.just go with her.haha.i'm like super pissed with alvin lah.haiz.super pissed.haha.i'll tell you all about it.it actually happened yesterday.but yesterday too angry to write.haha.

so ummm.yesterday got councillor investiture.then alvin was a student audience.haha.then we were supposed to like go collect shirts then at first only he only guy.then he was supposed to take most of the shirts cause their heavy.then he later say he dun wanna go.then left only the girls to go and take.haiz.so irresponsible.but if like got acceptable reasons then still can but his reason is cause he dun feel like going.wth!haiz.then in the end he go.so we were off after cleaning the area.(haiz.being a councillor isn't much fun at the moment.)so we were going then yasser said he'll go.then the girls told me that yasser was not feeling well so i asked him not to go.then alvin say he dun wanna go cause got no boy.but later last minute say wanna go then pull yasser.then in the end he never even bother about yasser then go and talk to the girls.wtf!!!haiz.i give yo examples.first,when we finished visiting the shop.angie wanna eat.so they go eat.then me and the remaining girls walk awhile.when we go back,cindy ask him where yasser then he was like"huh?oh yah!where is he?"sia lah.he only know how to eat.wtf!!!second,we at the busstop.then he keep on talking to the girls then never bother about yasser.then yasser wasn't even allowed any space to join the group lah.wtf!!!how could he.damn him!

i'm starting to look at him in a different light.a bad light!

pissed

ummm first of all,i wanna let the whole world know that i totally love my elder blood brother!haha.kor kor.if you're reading this,i love you!lots!

ok so if you've realised that my lastest post is like dunno how many dinosaur years ago,well thats because mymum won't let me use it.haiz.shan't talk about it.

today's my school's councillor investiture and then i was like super nervous.dunno why.haha.then i was like rushing through everything.haha.then fter that,we had reception.then kind of talked to the exco member.thats call bootlicing.haha.yeah rite.jkjk.so after that was like going to collect the class tee.then in the middle lots of things happened and made me super pissed.

in the middle,i was running down the stairs and haha,you guessed it.i slipped and fell.i twisted my ankle during the fall and i was like"@#$%^&*@!@#~!@##$%^^&^$$%^&&$^%$$!"haha.no lah.just kidding.so i was in super pain.then i stood up and started hopping and limping.haha.so my friends were telling me thats its sprained and stuff.i looked at my ankle and indeed it was swollen.but it got better.but not unpain.when i got home,i checked and it was swollen but dun feel like its a sprain leh.haiz.

dun feel like talking too much.just too pissed.bb and takkaire.

long weekend

haiz.the weekend is like many years.dunno why.我度日如年.it means that i spend my days like years.haha.let's start with saturday...

saturday
woke up at around 7.35am cause need to go school with yasser.haha.i prepared so fast that i was early.so i went down to wait.i dunno why.but i heard that we're meeting at 8.05am.but when i went down.he's not there.so i sat down and read.then he sms-ed me and like we"talked".then i asked what time we're meeting.cause i didn't tell him that i'm down already.he said 8.15am.haha.then i was like"really"?then he appeared and was shocked.so we went to school lor.went to national young leaders seminar.then after that saw jing ge and jia xuan at the end.called to jing ge but could call jia xuan cause i was talking to the teacher.so went to the mrt station and saw jing ge and went with him since his taking the train to city hall.haha.was a lil late for piano class and then went home lor.the end for saturday

sunday
woke up bacuse i felt a sharp thingy poking into my back.then realised that is my specs and that my specs is broken!ah!shit.then ate early lunch and went for yppae for camp meeting.then knew that wei neng kor is sick.get well soon!ummm.then had normal lessons and then went home and ate dinner.then came home.and i'm here.haha.

you have seen the cartoon...


now,here's the real thing...

lame

sia lah.i totally braindead lor.on wednesday,i was like never sleep the whole night.then i thursday go straight to school.never touch the bed sia.i am like so amazed at myself.haha.then today,i got councillor meeting.the very first official one.then got the announcement of the handing over and stuff.then we got the super mini rehearsal for the 20th councillor investiture.yup.should be liddat spell bah.haha.lazy check dictionary lah.haha.then tomorrow need to go back schol to go to expo for a knid of talk.then i need to leave on my own.can't leave with the school.cause i need to go for piano class.but still have tell ms gopal.haha.hope she can allow.haha.very sian sia.

broke up again and for the last time on tuesday.haha.but sometimes think whether its a good decision.haha.watever.whats done is done.haha.

hope to forget him.otherwise,i'll never move on.haiz.haha.

already made peace with doreen.but not with david and esther.then yijing trying to patch me and esther.i'm fine with it if she apologise.cause i'm not at wrong.but with david.its never gonna happen.even if she apologise.haha.

braindead~

trouble is brewing.bakstabbing will take place.suspicion and heavy feelings hang in the atmosphere.distrust is forming into a think fog present before us,among us.things dun look as simple as it seems.depression bombarded into my life.seizing daylight.causing me to fall into dark,cold loneliness.

DEPRESSION

sadness and loneliness are my friends.happiness and cheery smiles are my enemies.call me cowardy or freind-thirsty,well i am.but leave me alone and dun piss me cause i'll turn nasty.deep inside me.it's your choice to believe it.i'm not forcing you.

recalling memories,good and bad.Arousing pain and slashes,wounds.Chorus of masks on.Hell coming,getting near.Escapes routes are sealed.Losing sanity,hope,light.Letting lose my grasp for life.Extending my hand to nobody near.

sian~

haiz.already 3am and i'm still not sleeping.today's a school day!haiz.but just can't sleep.so talked to my big bro.now he's watching a match and doesn't need to go to school tomorrow.cause its his polling day hols.but i can't watch matches.i'll fall asleep.so here i am,blogging.haha.can't log on to msn.sian.i'm just wide awake!

long blog

haiz.i never blogged since last saturday.haiz.maybe cause too busy.and also because of me eye.

SATURDAY
so since today i didn't have piano class.i decided to go to orchard with my jie jie.but we both overslept and dragged the meeting time to 4.30pm.but we were both late.so it dragged near to 5++pm.haha.then we went and go.cause need to go to ah gong's house for dinner.yumyum.haha.

SUNDAY
woke up at 4.15am and realised then my right eye was swollen.haiz.but sill went for yppae.didn't do much there and i was super slack there.haiz.at night,my dad broughtme to see the doctor.got an mc and medicine.

MONDAY
still went to school cause these two days gonna check exam scripts.haiz.was super down.cause my marks are really borderline passes.only 1 A2?i dunno.just super sucky.

TUESDAY
saw all my miserable marks and then went for ballet.kinda cheer me up.cause ms tan was still here.not saying that i dun like ms mccully.but both teachers have their great points but ms tan is more detailed.cause her work allows that.ms mccully couldn't.cause she is totaly loaded with work.poor ms mccully.haiz.you know on national day,(since 19??)ms mccully was asked to choeograph the dances and stuff.its super cool.haha.she's my teacher.yay!

so its not too long.cause i summarise to super short.so yeah.haha.today's my school's polling day holiday.haha.bb.takkaire.

haha?

haiz.today woke up and went to aunty maggie's house to cut hair.she's like can say my family's hair stylist?cause is like when my dad was like super young,she was already cutting his hair.so yeah.but we're not blood related.haha.so i went her house and reached at 11++.then i wanted to:
1)change my hair parting to side
2)cut a fringe
3)trim and make my hair thinner.
so aunty maggie cut.was really enjoying it.but the result was like"shit!"i dun like my fringe.but on the whole still can.i look like lion liddat.haha.my big bro says the hair style doesn't suit me.WTF!!!how am i gonna go to school?shit.haha
my mum wanted to:
1)rebond her hair(cause she looked like a car drove through a barb wire wall and like all the barb wire was like shooting out liddat)
2)dye her hair(cause her white hair come out liao)
so from 11++,i was there till 3++cause my mum need to do alot of things.sian.

then today nothing really happened.haha.
tata.takkiare.and happy vesak day(though it's like super late.haha)

haha~thanx

haha.lets see what happened...

ok so today is art.the last paper.so difficult.dunno how to do.then mrs chan our last invigilator.then we ask her our science then she tell me that i didn't do well for section A and i was like shit!then she keep on saying hamzah very good.confirm hamzah get first.haiz.sad.i really drop lor.haiz.then we all zhao.

actually wanted to train with li fang.but she dun want then we all sit at level 1 discussing how to celebrate last paper and last day of the week.but we all very dejected cause heard about the science.haiz.sad.then in the end,rachelle and shenlynn go home and me and li fang and feng go makan at westmall then go cdans and bowl.when we go westmall,ms chua was there then we were like oh shit and we went in from the huge entrance.then decided to eat at koufu so we went up.then went we wanted to go in,then we saw limin they all.WTF!!!so we go popular wait awhile.cause dun wanna bump into them.then we wait very long then wanna go in.then saw the three bitches.WTF!!!so we got no more appettite.so we decided to go gombak then eat.so we went down by escalator.on the 2 floor,ms chua directly below us.so we went to the other end to take lift.we walk very slow so by the time we got there,she was down stairs.haiz.sad.so we quickly walk to the escalator.we got down successfully and when we were in the open space,she was up on the escalator.but she kept on looking at us.suay.

got to gombak then go 7-11 and buy food.i buy instant and slurpee.li fang also the same.then feng went to the bakery and buy bread.so we walk to cdans and find the boys who were going there to play.so we found them and we play lor.me and li fang play 3 games then wait for theboys.but the went home.haiz.so we wait with li fang for her bus then i walk feng to her house.but then i lazy and dun feel like going home alone.so ask her to sit at the playground for awhile and talk.then i call people who i think are out.then alot never answer then in the end yasser say he'll meet me at jurong station.then i zhao.

at jurong,we walk to our block there the area then we go there crazy.in the end we were wet in the rain.then 5 we went home.haha.today was kinda suay and fun.yasser is the best!haha.

i'll end here.bye bye and takkaire.

happy!or not

haha.so what happened today?

ok so today was maths paper2 and mother tongue paper 3(listening compre).the bitch needed alliance real fast and was bitching about me with doreen and rachel david.fuck their chi bai man!they are just some bitches who can't keep their mouths shut.i was really ok with esther and rachel bitching about me.cause i dun like them either.but doreen,well i treat her real good and this is how she thank me.haiz.disappointed.something unpleasant happened but i dun wanna talk about it.

so after 30 mins in class to sign our CA1 results which are super bad.we were behind time.haiz.sian.then go li fang's house makan and bath and change and blah and we when to orchard!yay!totally love it!today didn't splurge and i spend the least today comparing with my friends and for all past orchard outings.haha.

tired.so i'll stop here.bb.

mixed?

haha.let's see what happened today...

so school was today and there was science paper and literature.so i was sleeping last night when my nose bleed and woke me up.not once but twice!then during the papers,i bleed also during both of them!WTF!!!i'm like a blood tap lah.haha.so we were like discussing what to bring tomorrow lah.then got maths remedial.so i stay till 1.50.then during that period of time,i kinda let esther know of our secret plans.haha.sorry guys.

at ballet,carmen helped me take the pic and i'm like seriously disgusting.but anyway,i still send it.WTH!!!and today ms mccully wasn't here cause she had flown off.and ms tan was here!!!so was like really funny ann really pressurizing at times.i was on the verge to cry a few times.cause i really feel like i'm letting here down.haiz,i'm sorry ms tan.she's a really great teacher and i love her.and she can be really straightforward at times and thats way i was really depressed.haizbut with her around.there's a change in exercise speed and style.haha.

thats all.bye and takkaire.

super high?

haha.lets see what happaned today...hmmm.oh yah.today is history and home economic.i didn't study sia.so last night quickly study.then woke up and went to school to study again.WTF!!!the exam was like rock hard lah.haiz i think i'm gonna fail lor.cause for the essay part(50m)i whole thing write crap lor.WTH!!!then i confirm fail one lah.then during the recess period,i study for home economic.then the test i finish within 20 mins.then ah chia even more pro.by 10.55,he had already hit the table,sleeping.and the test started at 10.45 and ended at 11.30.haha.

so after the exams,we went to westmall,koufu to eat then go library study for science.we study study until sian then we go shop shop.we walk into this fashion then lifang tried on this super nice skirt.then look super nice on her lah.haha.then rachelle say she dun have mini skirt then wanna buy one.so we pick for her.but dun suit.so we went to op.so i saw so many shorts that are so nice and also saw 2 skirts that i like lah.they are gray and brown.so rachelle saw one purplish brown skirt.so she tried the purplish brown one and gray one.and lifang tried the brown and gray one.for rachelle,she didn't show us the gray one.but the purplish brown was super drooling nice lah.and she bought it.on the spot.she was like just took out 40 bucks and paid.i was like'WTH!!!"haha.then lifang was super drooling nice in the brown one but the gray one didn't suit her.so she decided to buy the brown tomorrow.ah!!!i also want!

so went home and called lifang.then we talk and talk till she had to hang.we decided to conference with rachelle later.so i called him and chat.then the girls called me and wanted to conference.but we both not ready to hang so decided to all conference together.haha.then we talk and discussed our plans for this wednesday.haha.its gonna be fun!

smiles~

haha.wondering why i so high?well you see,we patch le.haha.i very happy sia.can't believe that this is happening.but watever it is,we're gonna stick together andnever ever break.haha.

oh yah.i have yppae today rite?then during choir class,i spoke english.then she was like,"zidan,is speaking chinese that difficult?"(in chinese)i was like,WTF!!!chi bai lah.

then carmen was like ask me to pose at home and take the picture then send to her teacher cause the teacher needs it by monday.then i was like no way!cause i'm not planning to tell my parents so who is gonna take the picture.lots of small harmless squabbles took place then we settled with taking the pic on tuesday at ballet class if the teacher agreed.otherwise no picture.haha.watever.

today very little to post about.so yeah.takkaire.bb.

WT*!

i'm so pissed off.and when i said so pissed off,i really mean it.WTF!i really can't stand my mum.its like we're totally from a totally different planet.its like she has totally gven up on my big bro and me.so she has the only"power"left to concentrate on my lil bro(poor thing).so whenever i use the com,she'll say the i'm effcting him doing his hw and assignments.WTF!!!then its like i pitied my lil bro so i helped him and teach him to finish his two sets of hw.but it was like near 1++?i dunno lah.but of course my lil do a lil bit then dun want liao.today, i saw him playng com.i thought he finished his hw.but he didn't.my mum finally came down after controling her anger when she knows that my lil bro is using the com without finishing his work.she scolds us and we off the com.i teache him and comes to the com.then my mum checks the work and realised that he has lots of questions unanswered from last time and now.and she ask me to teach him.i was reluctant but just does it.i teach for a while and my bro just like gives me the sour face.i'm so pissed off cause i'm here helping him when i could be at the com and he gives me that face.i scolds him and he starts crying.after that,he starts the"mute"thingy and doesn't talk.it gets on my nerve and i had it.i walked to the com and use it.then it was like lunch time and i go to the table.he gives the"i'm pathetic and weak.and i need to cling onto someone but you must still listen to me"kinda face.WTF!!!

oh yah.i totally wanna patch with him(i know i sound despo).its like i totally wanna patch but i dun dare ask.so my bestfriend helps mye ask him why he doesn't wanna patch.but the prob is that we were in mass msn conversation.so i was like turned to jelly and the awkward pause made it worse.i could stand it mo more and left.he left after me and opened another window.he tells me nvm and ask me to talk to him alone.my bestfriend apologised to me and i said nvm,its ok.cause she had good intentions.haiz.i changed my msn nick to"lots of questions.but can you answer mine?"then he ask me"goo alot of questions ar?ask me lah."i was reluctant and dun dare to.but he just kept on asking and i asked.then his answer stabbed me in the heart really hard and i was really hurt.i blocked him and changed my msn nick to like let him know.he then asked ah chia to ask me to unblock him.WTF!!!i have already unblock him lor.he signs off and i'm like so pissed off.he changed his msn nick to"didn't mean to hurt you.sorry".WTF!!!

oh yah.was like typing then my father wants me to copy disc for him.then i dun want cause it will lag and then he say won't one.then i copy and the whole com lag and then this page off and i am now re-typing everything.WTF!!!i'm so pissed off!

carmen called me and asked me to like pose for a biology book.her (outside)art teacher is also in the publishing business and needs people to pose for a cover.carmen asked me and i agreed.haha.at least there's one thing that makes me happy.haha.

dun really feel like decorating my posts with colours today.so yeah only the top have like 2 or 3 lah.i know the words "so pissed off"are getting on you guys nerve cause i've been repeating them.but yeah.i really am.

the pictures are pofessional ballerinas and i hope i can jump like them one day.hopefully.haha.although i know its impossible.its fun to dream once in awhile.

so high~

haha.if you're wondering why my blogskin has gone from totally dull to total coolness(even if you dun think so,i do!),well here's the answer!its because of my new-found best friend......lifang!i'm like the total dumbo queen in the area of IT.and she helped me lots.i totally love this skin.and i dunno why.but after this change in skin,i have an unwavering tinge of confidence?haha.so be it.i'm gonna publicise this blog!haha.

well,what happened today?let's see...
oh yah,esther doesn't get the message that we're anti-ing her.and she tries to tag along.haha.our secret plans of going out is on the go.and she's still in the dark.haha.first,there was maths remedial.mr goh asked me to go and solve a question cause i was high-ing in class.i was like,"sure!no prob!"but deep inside i was like,"oh shit!me and my high-ness!"so i went up to the whiteboard and started to do the sum.at first,jeffrey and arjun helped me.but i got the hang of it and continued.then i finished it!woohoo.i didn't think i'll be able to do it!haha.ok.then we go westmall eat.after that,we go wassin and bought earrings.haha.then we go library study.then go home.thats about it.dunno what to post leh.

oh yah,i try to drop hints to him.but he doesn't get it.haiz.sad.

haiz.

haiz.the mye are here and i'm stressed out.i'm really deproving in my studies lor.WTH!ihave so much stressed lah.i was 1st in class last year(not trying to show off),then my parents were very happy.so they never nag me about my studies.so if i dun do well they may be disappointed and then may not let me so high liao.haiz.and the teachers,some giving me stress too.its like ms ang says she's pinning hopes on me and hamzah lah.then if i dun do well then will let her down.oh yah, ms ang says she enjoys reading my compositions.haha.yay!i like compliments.haha.but well,with compliments,i'll have to do better or at least remain in my standards.haha.very stressed leh.then ms chua also lah.haiz.then mrs chan also one.not trying to say i blame them but is like they dun mean to put stress on me but is they accidentally put and anyway,they have faith in me then i should be honoured to be.

oh yah talking about this,lots of ppl in my class are improving in their studies and some are excelling me too.even though i like winning(haha.haiz.bad hobby)i must compliment and congratulate them for a job well done.haha.

esther is like the person that i hate most lah.she likes to bitch about ppl then dun admit.even her so called good friend,rachelle,also turn her back on esther and tell lifang(now we 3 the best of friends cause we dun bitch about ppl)that esther backstab her lor.WTF!she think that the whole world owe her something lor.then she think she's the princess then we must all bow down and follow her orders lor.WTF!then she think we have to bootlick her so that she'll talk good about us.WTF!we dun need her to have friends lor.she open her mouth only also will offend ppl lor.offend ppl then scared then ask us help her.WTF!scared then come and ask us zhao kor her.damn her lah.dun act so bitch can anot?knn.you aren't the biggest ok?i'm the biggest and i dun even act like the way you do lah(haha.so buai hiao pai lor.haha.).bitch!although i know you are out to win me, haiz.i dun mind.cause do notes and ways to memorise things is i teach you one.you wanna take credit then do so.be my guest.cause in future you'll have your retribution.i have my clear conscience,do you?bitch!i know you have big boobs,dun need to show off,but grace's one still bigger so dun need match with me, go compete with her lah.still say ppl have attitude prob,you think you dun have arhs?haiz.please lah,you know you're the noisiest in class?open your mouth and talk can fill the whole class lor.haiz.you only know how to use other ppl things then dunno how to share.use my colour pens everytime but dunno how to bring own one.so poor arhs?then use my pen never cap back.then i put in my pencil box,then the pencil box fabric absorb the ink then the pen cannot use anymore.FUCK!have to buy new one.CHEE BAI lor.$0.95 leh.not say i cheapskate but is near $1 lor.$0.05 is still money.you everyday save $0.05,you 1 year can save how much?(i'm saying my grandmother stories again.diaox.)

anyway,i break with him liao.but dun think will patch cause he say he dun think he know me very well then wanna know me more.haiz.dun talk liao.

oh yah.i just bought two new things that i have longed for.a adidas watch(orange)and a billabong wallet!woots~

quote of the day:Limitations condemn activity,activity condemnment causes limitations.

p.s.the picture at the top is depicting anger.enjoy.