Tuesday, June 17, 2014

HYPERHIDROSIS

It is no secret that I suffer from palmar hyperhidrosis (sweaty palms). But not many people know that I also suffer from plantar hyperhidrosis and also axillary hyperhidrosis. It has been a huge hindrance to me and I would like to share my story.




Growing up in Singapore has been a huge disadvantage, not considering the fact that I’m also heat-intolerant. On a regular day, I can sweat buckets and still feel extremely hot and bothered.

  • Young & Wild
I’ve been having severe hyperhidrosis ever since I can remember. However, when I was younger, it didn’t really bother me. As a kid, being hyperactive and running around is normal. So consequently, perspiring was normal as well. I was also unaware of what it meant to be socially conscious. Sweaty palms just meant I couldn’t hang on as long as I’d like on the monkey bars. Sweaty feet just meant soaked socks or footprints on the playground. It didn’t occur to me that feet could stink because of the sweat.

  • Prepubescent to Puberty
One day, I realised that the underarm portions of my sleeves were damp. I discovered that my armpits sweat too. It can be quite embarrassing when the sweat stains show and I’m still being ignorant about my situation, flailing my arms around like a wild child. Drying my hands on my bottoms was something I do all the time, and by mid-day, I’ll be walking around with severely damp bottoms. Worksheets and exam papers were turned in damp or with dried-up patches.

As I grew more conscious, I will find myself incessantly drying my hands on my school skirt, grabbing the material in a bunch, only to end up with a constant recurrence of sweat and a damp creased skirt. There are things that would be awesome if it constantly regenerates, like my bank account, but not sweat on palms. I also go through shoes like crazy. Tough sturdy shoes end up breaking down from the moisture, and the odour just won’t go away even after multiple washes. White school shoes also end up sporting yellowed sweat stains. How attractive!

Oh, did I mention how sweat will drip down my arm while I’m on the phone with my girlfriends, discussing homework and boys?

  • Graduating into ADULTHOOD
I have reached a stage where I’m just resigned to fate. At home, I just let my feet “bask” in the puddle of sweat. While my hands just sweat and sweat and sweat. I’ll clamp down my arms when I feel a runaway drop of sweat race down my underarm. I mean, what else can I do?

While everyone else is getting more and more comfortable/familiar with being social, or at least pretending to have a hold on all things, here I am still trying to get a handle on my sweat problem. House-visiting or meeting people remain extremely daunting to me.

I could either choose to: 1) remove my socks and ask to visit the bathroom to rinse my feet and hope I don’t sweat puddles in the host’s home. I also pray really hard that the odour outside doesn’t waft in; 2) or I can risk keeping my socks on to absorb the inevitable sweat and pray that my feet don’t smell as bad as I think they do. Whenever I can, I will also make a beeline for any spot in front of a fan or better yet, air-conditioning and try to avoid moving.

I have also started carrying around a hand towel. If you see or have seen a 20-something female consistently fiddling with a towel (as though I have a weird fetish for microfiber), it is/was probably me. I started off being very conscious but then quickly moved on to being unbothered. A damp towel versus a crumpled bottom/dress, which do you think is better?

Footwear is much more challenging. On really bad days, wearing flip flops will result in a puddle (if standing, ie on the MRT or bus) or a trail of sweat (imagine in an empty mall, and me walking with a trail of liquid on the shiny waxed floors coming from my feet). Going to beach? That means wearing flip flops and packing shoes to change into after having fun in the sun.

I have to wear disposable gloves when I want to do crafts or when I’m writing notes. There is also a higher chance of mildew developing on my belongings. Everything I touch has to “dry” before I can put it away. I can’t help strangers take a photo (but with selfies becoming so popular, I guess it’s not a problem anymore?) or hold my friends’ things without having to wipe it down before handing it back. I would say I’ve adjusted well to my situation, but I’ll never be okay with it. Two words: SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS!

  • Now or Never
So, I’ve decided to give surgery another go. What I didn’t mention above was that I went under the knife sometime back (2006 I think?). What I (and my mom) wasn’t aware off was the hidden implications involved. I say hidden because the doctors failed to bring up IMPORTANT side effects till a few hours before I was due in the operating theatre. Also, they brought it up as though it wasn’t a big deal. The hospital I opted for was just out of convenience. I knew it, my family knew it, and it was near to us. So it seemed like a good fit. However, the medical field for hyperhidrosis is not that “popular” in Singapore as I thought it would be, and I found out much later on that the specialisation is uncommon.

After the first failed attempt (failed because it obviously didn’t work), I almost gave up hope because the doctors that the first hospital eventually reached the conclusion that my situation is incurable. But, not before firing blindly on what my actual problem is. A few years after my first surgery, I didn’t get better, instead it got worse. I went back for another round of consultation. The doctors were undoubtedly surprised that my problem persisted, then suggested that the nerves that were cut might have grew and overlapped over time during puberty. Okay, I’ll take that. Then, it got ridiculous. After countless rounds of consulting, I was suspected of suffering from thyroids to being incurable. I was getting frustrated and extremely annoyed.

Doing research on the trusty old Google, it didn’t seem the case for my counterparts in other countries. So, I decided to go ahead and get a second opinion.

I chose Tan Tock Seng Hospital and got a referral from the polyclinic (BTW, the doctor who gave me the referral letter is as dumb and apathetic as a block of wood). Turns out, TTSH is the only government hospital that specialises in hyperhidrosis.

The doctor was really friendly and understanding of my situation. He was slightly shocked that I have had a procedure prior to this, but nonetheless told me what he can do for me. The success rates (hands: 99%, pits: 60%, feet: 33%) were promising and it really instilled a great amount of confidence in the procedure. I really hope that it will turn out well. I know I can’t have everything, and so I will be grateful if my palmar hyperhidrosis can be solved. Pits will be awesome too since I won’t be dripping from under my arms. Feet will be a bonus too, although I’m aware of the lower success rate. At least, I can confidently shake hands and not fear being electrocuted every time I handle power sockets/plugs. Well, you win some you lose some.

If you’ve read till the end, thank you so much for letting me share my story. I hope I didn’t overtly disgust you, and if you also go through similar experiences,  I hope this helps in some way. I will update soon post-surgery. Wish me luck!


#HYPERHIDROSIS #SWEATY PALMS #SWEATY FEET #SWEATY PITS #SWEATY EVERYTHING

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

it's been ages
yet, things haven't really changed
i'm facing the same problems, stress
graves i've dug myself
just really down in the dumps
and simply willing myself to live through it all
i'm so ready to leave this all behind
the life of a student, is tough and impossible
i look forward to figuring out my life
my career and my future
not being stuck here
in the limbo of grades and attending classes
i should be stronger, but i am not