Merry Christmas people!

Have a good one (:

it's been epic long since i posted in this space

been up to nothing much

on holiday for 2 weeks and now

just getting lazier and lazier each day

but i did meet up with a few friends

like wei neng from drama

and my classmates from jc

the class gathering wasn't a full success

since not everyone could make it

but most people shown up and it was great

went clubbing with 3 girls after

epic fun! (minus the creeps)

christmas is coming up and i have no plans

christmas eve will be spent with family

since we're gonna be having dinner

jeremy is going over to malaysia over christmas

and stuffing his face with his family

so i'll just see who's free and available in singapore

i prepared some small gifts for a few friends

but i don't know how to get it to them

since everyone's busy

and i tried to meet up with some last minute but it didn't work

two of the presents were really easy since i didn't need to "do" them

just wrapped them up

another two i actually made

then jeremy's one required the most work

and as of now, i'm not done with yet

so i have to rid myself of the lazy bug and get down to it

or he will end up with 1) a very very late gift

or 2) a half-done gift

MEH

i shouldn't be posting this on the internet right?

on the upside,  results are in and i am so happy with it

but then again, school's starting soon

ARGH

ohkay, super long post since forever

which means the next post will be freaking long later

then again, who still reads this space?!

tag me in the tagboard so i know? (:

it'll be cool to be able to play the piano

like those talented people

but i just don't have the talent

got an exam soon, and i want to die

i have no drive to study

yet i think about canoeing over and over again

throughout the day

that's passion i guess?

wanna eat so much food i will explode

mindless post

rawr rawr rawr

too much going on in my tiny brain

lucky girl

i wanna surprise my kids like this too

spreading a little love

made me feel warm and happy

i checked out cine65 yesterday,

because i'm so freaking free!!!

since my assignments are over

and i no longer need to stay up late

editing retarded pieces of work

so yeah, i check it out

and i gotta to say, it's really quite a watch

interesting and all

not bad to pass the time (:

i am finally done with the group assignments

as of 4:24 a.m

i've submitted it in and i am OFF THE HOOK

no more fucked up group meetings

no more shitty discussions (that amount to almost nothing)

no more sucky group mates

no more sleepless nights trying to rewrite everything because their work is good enough to feed the pigs

no more reading incomprehensible english

no more shit

no more

i am defeated

i will not succumb to the pressure

i will accept it and bend under the pressure

i will not do all the work for them

i will just give up

if they choose not to do the work then

WE. WILL. ALL. FAIL. TOGETHER.

WARNING: LONG BITCHY ANGSTY RANT

can't take it better disappear

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH

ENOUGH OF ALL THESE BULLSHIT

AND ENOUGH OF ALL THIS NONSENSE

a group assignment means that every single person is to fucking contribute

contribute means play a fucking part

meetings are for all members to attend

for discussions and work delegations

not for a few of us to arrive and wait

and no fucking show

take for example tuesday

we were supposed to meet at 10am

case 1:

one of them had lessons in the morning,

so i asked him to either meet me to pass the physical surveys in the morning

or consolidate on email and email to me so i can key it in for him

he said he will email me but in the morning i received NOTHING

case 2:

another texted me at the last minute saying he will only be here at 1030

so since 3 of them were gonna be late i pushed it back to 1030

at 1030 he was a no-show

same at 1100 and at 1130

i didn't even have the mind to text him and ask

and he did not even bother to drop me a text to inform me

and at 1155 when i was walking to class

he appeared outside telling me he already passed the surveys to one of the members

and he didn't show up because he was held up by the maintenance guy he was supposed to meet

WOW, so it was so fucking hard for you to drop me a gawddamn text and inform me

was it so bloody hard for you to take your phone and type in "i can't come because..."

and what is the meaning of passing me the physical surveys?!

you want me to type it all in for you?!

go fucking screw yourself

i am not your fucking mule and i refuse to do it for you

it's a shitty 14 piece survey

key. it. in. yourself.

you lazy piece of shit

asshole no. 1 has the decency to ask me to calm down

he can ask me to calm down because he doesn't need to freak out

i freak out because i know the consequences if we don't hand in quality work

but he doesn't need to because he plans to ride on others' work

he can come to meetings late with no apparent reason

no apology to any members and no explanation

he can even come unprepared

fuck you soham

asshole no. 2 is the bloody leader of one of our assignments

he is not doing anything

and he was a no-show for his own meeting

no text to say he won't be coming

no text to say he'll be late

and expecting me to do his shit

well you can fuck off too samuel

stupid shitty assholes

i will give you the worse evaluations

you will ever see in your life

and if you cost me my grades,

i will personally skin. you. alive.

CAs for my modules are finally in

when they were supposed to be in last week

and all of the work is due by this month

how is that even possible/humane?!

not exactly excited because i had a hard time last semester

having to finish up everyone's work

because they were not good enough (not being a perfectionist)

and because i wanted my good grade so bad,

i did everything i could

even if it means redo-ing someone else's part from scratch

this sem, i'm with 2 members from my previous group

and 2 new guys

one of the new guy has an issue about the other

saying that the 2nd guy is a lazy guy

OMG

but giving him the benefit of doubt

again, i am the leader for 2 modules

and the 3rd module the 1st new guy

good is that i have lesser workload

bad is we have to work with time and working styles

guess we'll have to see in the weeks to come

*sigh*

thank goodness i had project work training

FIRST ROLL OF FILM!

uploaded on my tumblr

(:

so today is rush rush rush

immediately after lessons,

i rushed out and power-walked myself to the bus stop

to get all the way to ps for my appointment at 4

i had exactly 1 hour to make my way there

after my appointment, i went to collect my photos

and then rushed all the way to the cathay for a movie

i don't know how she does it was a nice light-hearted movie

and i enjoyed it a lot

with my nacho combo and medium salted popcorn

oh yeah (Y)

yes, i went alone and finished all that on my own

i was a little late and stumbled a little when i just got seated

hard to juggle so many food

then after i went to cineleisure to find the baggu backpack

i really liked the olive/army green backpack

but given it's price, $42

and the fact that i have tonnes of bags

it was ruled that it's a want and not a need

and i walked away

but then i went to topshop@knightsbridge

and bought myself some footwear

YAY ME!

i initially typed this out on my tumblr

hence the perfect grammar and the proper paragraphs

here we go

I want things to go back to when I was in JC. Sadly, that was one of my happiest times. But looking at things now, I'm enjoying and having the time of my life. I have an awesome boy in my life, I'm talking to Yasser again, I have a better relationship with my girls (A.S.H. and Carmen). But I also have school that I dread, driving that I suck at, not as close to Lydia and my drama people. So can I filter out the bad and combine all the good?

Today, the hashtag trending on twitter today was #IfICouldDoItOverAgain. As I was reading some of the tweets, I realise a lot of people want to relive their lives and avoid their mistakes. Then I think to myself, if those mistakes didn't not happen to us, won't we all be slightly different? Our experiences, good and bad, shape us. But then again, I'm not saying that I have nothing I don't want to change. There are so many.

I want to not lose my first BB. I want to not have gotten together with my ex-boyfriends. I want to not have given up so quickly on my studies in JC. I want to avoid all the drama from my life. ETC

But that the end of the day, we are who we are because of what happened to us. So I guess there is nothing I can do but sit here in front of my laptop screen and type my rants out. MEH.

no afiqa,

i will not post on the world wide web how i made a fool of myself

you wanna know you go ask jeremy

i'm sure he'll be glad to share with the world how "hen fail" i am

-.-

so school's pretty much started

and i wanna say that i am so freaking excited!

NOT

been pretty much begging my friends to text me while i'm class

and complaining to them how shitty my school hours are

so in class, i'm scrambling to take notes, listen and text/tweet/tumblr/surf the net/blogging

so yes, i'm good at one thing:

MULTITASKING (:

am super addicted to my computer and phone

usually i'm on my phone doing something

but then there are times when i have nothing vying for my attention

so i go play tetris

fun max!

ohkay, this is a random blog post

bye!

finally finished the film on my holga

i went to develop them and i have to admit,

i am the biggest noob in the world

totally made a fool out of myself

and jeremy still had the balls to laugh at me

really excited to see the my virgin roll of film

and see how it all turned out

although i'm a bit \: to see the first few

because the past is captured in those

rawr

excited + a tad of dread

anyways, newfound love in salted popcorn

love love love the nachos and salted popcorn from cathay

although they could be a bit more generous with the cheese

i ended up having to scrap my nachos along the dip section

and still only covered a fraction

gv's (vivo) nachos come in a packet

so if you're late to the movies

you will have to stumble in the dark

tear open the bag (and try to be really silent)

and then pour it into the tray

quite unnecessary i think

this is why i love cathay theatres! <3

warning: verbal vomit/thoughts on my mind/something you might not care about

it was so easy to have a relationship when we were all in school:

1) same school, same class

there was NO separation and your schedules synchronised

you could see each other for 5 days straight and it was not a problem

2) same school, different classes

despite the physical separation, seeing each other around school isn't hard

pulling off the "ooh, i just happened to walk by your classroom" routine would be cute

and even though your timetables might conflict it shouldn't be much of a problem

there's a library/canteen/other-cool-area-in-your-school to wait for each other

3) different schools

slightly harder to meet up as the timetables might just never synchronise

you can't bump into each other at school but being students,

you can still meet up after school to study or stuff like that

generally, being a student and dating works

in my books at least (for now)

jeremy is in army, i'm in school

given my school schedule, i'm usually very free

but being in the army and training up to serve the nation

means loads of training and whatever things they do

leaving my boy tired and unavailable most of the time

rawr, so hard when our body clocks and schedules don't match

but then again, we get to meet face-to-face on weekends

so i guess we're better off than couples who reside in different countries

on the off note,

me and yasser saw this couple in the bus today

they were sitting a couple of rows in front of us

the weird thing was the guy was sitting on the inside while the girl was by the aisle

and the guy was leaning on the girl

he tried to lay on her lap but he was obviously too tall

and then he was leaning on her shoulder

then they were like cheek-to-cheek for a second

then BOOM, they were kissing like hollywood stars

OMG, you are only 13/14 the most kissing action you should be getting is lips to cheek

i was so shocked i just started laughing

what is up with the kids these days?!

today, i left the comfort of my bed and home to go to school

i had to go to pick up notes for the second semester of school

on the bus, i met yasser!

you can't imagine the joy i felt because he is a special one

we used to be so close when we were in secondary school

and he was always there for me

it wasn't those suffocating friendship where there's only you and your friend

we both had other groups of friends

(actually, all my friendships are like that.

we're close but we have other friends too (: )

but we were tight

he had my back and i will smack his back (Y)

so we were just catching up in the bus

and i managed to convince him to accompany me

so we went to collect my notes and then head over to westmall

i wanted to get some things and he helped me

along the way, we joked and laughed and i had a good time

as we said our goodbyes, we shared a hug

it's not a romantic hug

nor is it a lame limp hug

it was a true genuine hug from a friend to another friend

i missed him

on the off note, who said it was ohkay to make girls bleed for days on end?

who? it is not cool, and it fucking sucks.

one month's holiday is almost coming to an end

starting my second semester next month

not every excited and a bit upset with the timetable

used to be a 830 to 1130 slot

now we're doing a 12 to 3 slot

sleep time man. -.-

plus, it'll hinder my other commitments

damn

last week, i did a camp for adam khoo

and the camp i did was for AES

the kids we took on were from normal tech

and a lot was riding on how the camp goes

and how the teachers find the overall outcome of the camp

stressed and worried that i won't do a good job

i was mainly worried that i couldn't build a rapport with the campers

and i was also uncertain if i was able to deliver

having been on a "hiatus" from doing camps

plus i felt that i kinda lost my spark the last time i did camps

i was feeling generally unprepared and not ready to be handed this challenge

there are three kinds of campers (at least in my book so far) :

1) those that are excited to be there

2) those that don't want to be there at all

3) those who don't know what to expect and have the sitting-on-a-fence situation

so with this camp, i would say most of them were type 2 campers

they all had the why-must-i-be-here attitude

we coaches were prepared to face the fact

that they will be hard nuts to crack

and did everything we can to prepare for it

when the time came, we all took it head-on

for me, every camp is a learning experience

if not for the campers but for me

i acknowledge the fact that at the end of the day

the campers walk away from the camp having learnt nothing

and probably won't remember shit from the camp

but i will definitely learn something

even if it was the simple fact that what we have shouldn't be taken for granted

so i told myself that i will go all out

and i will change my strategy whenever i sense that it will not work

so throughout the camp i used a lot of different methods

i played my whole playbook

in the end, i might have managed to crack a few nuts

it was very hard to tell

but having failed to make a difference to a larger fraction of my campers

brought me to tears at some point

i felt like i failed

but we all have to pick ourselves up

and i did

so i expected to great not-so-good reviews and feedback from the teachers

yet when i received the feedback,

i was utterly shocked and amazed

lesson learnt:

never underestimate your ability

it might not be the end goal in mind

but the process and method matter more then the outcome

if the process and method that i applied worked

but just need a longer time than 3D2N to achieve the stipulated ending

then it will prove good

so i guess i learnt to focus on process and not the end goal

it was a challenging yet fruitful camp for me

i am so glad i did the camp. (:

sometimes i wish i was born to different circumstances

less asian and more relax kinda style

not sure how to actually put this into words

to vent it out

and i guess it's not very "appropriate" to post this on the world wide web

but inside my head, i know

wish and wish

can't to grow up and just lead life the way i want it to be

but then i bet i will be those "normal" people

who will always think that the grass is greener on the other side

when i'm old enough to have to fend for myself

i will wish that i'm still young and couldn't care less

and didn't to bother about bills and taxes,

taking care of myself and basically being on my own

oh pfft, what a joke life is

we spend half the time wishing we were at some other point

and when we finally do get there,

we wish we were back where we were.

so retarded

but i guess that us humans

having insatiable needs and constantly searching for "greener pastures"

oh fuck,

golly good rawr

i finally went to watch the thai movie suckseed

it was really awesome

it was a good mix of comedy, drama and music

really good movie

and i will go as far to say that i want to own a dvd of the movie

the songs are good and catchy

some people might think that pfft it's in thai

and i don't understand the language

making it hard to watch and read subtitles at the same time

well then, you're just not talented enough

all in all a great movie and i recommend you to catch it

unfortunately i caught it when it's about to end it's screening in sg

hope the rest of you managed to catch it (:

i can't even begin to say how angry/disappointed i am

it's never a nice feeling

to get ready to go

all that's left is to wait

and wait and wait and wait

and it never happens

fuck.

being the total lazy-ass-bum that i am,

let's recap my wednesday,

oh-so-wholesome-and-well-spent wednesday.

putting myself to bed at say 2am,

i timely woke up at 5am then 8, 9, 10, 11

and finally peeled myself outta bed at 12.

cooked myself and skinny so instant noodles

cause we were too lazy to head out for lunch

so jeremy told me about how some of the ns guys

cook instant like cup noodles

where they just put the noodles in the mass tin

and put in the hot water and wait for it to cook

i tried that and boom!

IT WORKS BITCHES!

no more standing by the hot steaming pot

you can't get any lazier than that

after which i surfed the net, watched tv and gorged myself on snacks

then went to nap again

resurfaced at 6 for dinner and then surfed the net and watched tv

now, i've made myself some green tea and once again

am in front of my macbook

so bottomline, i'm NOT studying

and i'm getting FAT

RAWR

so, i've gone through a really really bad roller coaster ride

regarding my "future"

and, since i don't know who read this space

i won't divulge too much info

let's just say, i'm done with the ride

- - -

secondly, i received my ca results for all three subjects

a B+ and 2 As

surprisingly, and A for math!

(take that mr chan and mdm song! HAH!)

what i am kinda upset about is getting a B+ for english

i know that the marks were greatly affected by ca2

see, ca2 is a group assignment where we have to design a poster

and well, i have faith to say that we did a good job

before i submitted the work, i check, double-checked and TRIPLE-checked

but, when the teacher opened it, the text was all over the place

and she had to adjust it a bit to see the whole poster

so naturally, we were penalized

and since others didn't have a problem with it (since they used photoshop)

my group had to be marked down

she "blamed" it on my lack of skill

in my defense, who said it HAD (and if i don't i will die) to use photoshop?!

i don't even have photoshop

plus, when she showed us past batches' work,

she used ms word to open it

so why did she have a problem with mine?!

and afiqa rised a fair and justified point:

I'M STUDYING ENGLISH

this is bollocks

- - -

anyway, now i'm on study break

exams will be next wednesday to friday

then holidays till oct

please, will everyone pray/hope/wish that i spend my time productively

and with that,

i'm signing off

(oh, and apologies for the LONG hiatus)

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARCHIVE?!

SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE?!

):

went to watch a movie alone today

honestly, i'm really proud of myself

happy that i finally got off my ass to go alone

yes, i've done it before

but doing it now, is really important for me

no, i am not detaching myself from my life

nor am i detaching myself from my friends and family

i am just finally giving myself some me time

some time to do things i love,

with myself

why would people to do things they know are bad

and continue to do so even if it means hurting their loved ones?

i am thankful to be surrounded by people unlike the aforementioned group above

group work is ending soon!

bad news: we are NOT done yet!

good news: no more late nights editing incoherent chunks of stuff

i guess there's always a silver lining

been arriving at school later than i should

for the whole week now

hopefully this doesn't persist after this week

no more group work should equal earlier nights yes?