warning: verbal vomit/thoughts on my mind/something you might not care about

it was so easy to have a relationship when we were all in school:

1) same school, same class

there was NO separation and your schedules synchronised

you could see each other for 5 days straight and it was not a problem

2) same school, different classes

despite the physical separation, seeing each other around school isn't hard

pulling off the "ooh, i just happened to walk by your classroom" routine would be cute

and even though your timetables might conflict it shouldn't be much of a problem

there's a library/canteen/other-cool-area-in-your-school to wait for each other

3) different schools

slightly harder to meet up as the timetables might just never synchronise

you can't bump into each other at school but being students,

you can still meet up after school to study or stuff like that

generally, being a student and dating works

in my books at least (for now)

jeremy is in army, i'm in school

given my school schedule, i'm usually very free

but being in the army and training up to serve the nation

means loads of training and whatever things they do

leaving my boy tired and unavailable most of the time

rawr, so hard when our body clocks and schedules don't match

but then again, we get to meet face-to-face on weekends

so i guess we're better off than couples who reside in different countries

on the off note,

me and yasser saw this couple in the bus today

they were sitting a couple of rows in front of us

the weird thing was the guy was sitting on the inside while the girl was by the aisle

and the guy was leaning on the girl

he tried to lay on her lap but he was obviously too tall

and then he was leaning on her shoulder

then they were like cheek-to-cheek for a second

then BOOM, they were kissing like hollywood stars

OMG, you are only 13/14 the most kissing action you should be getting is lips to cheek

i was so shocked i just started laughing

what is up with the kids these days?!

today, i left the comfort of my bed and home to go to school

i had to go to pick up notes for the second semester of school

on the bus, i met yasser!

you can't imagine the joy i felt because he is a special one

we used to be so close when we were in secondary school

and he was always there for me

it wasn't those suffocating friendship where there's only you and your friend

we both had other groups of friends

(actually, all my friendships are like that.

we're close but we have other friends too (: )

but we were tight

he had my back and i will smack his back (Y)

so we were just catching up in the bus

and i managed to convince him to accompany me

so we went to collect my notes and then head over to westmall

i wanted to get some things and he helped me

along the way, we joked and laughed and i had a good time

as we said our goodbyes, we shared a hug

it's not a romantic hug

nor is it a lame limp hug

it was a true genuine hug from a friend to another friend

i missed him

on the off note, who said it was ohkay to make girls bleed for days on end?

who? it is not cool, and it fucking sucks.

one month's holiday is almost coming to an end

starting my second semester next month

not every excited and a bit upset with the timetable

used to be a 830 to 1130 slot

now we're doing a 12 to 3 slot

sleep time man. -.-

plus, it'll hinder my other commitments

damn

last week, i did a camp for adam khoo

and the camp i did was for AES

the kids we took on were from normal tech

and a lot was riding on how the camp goes

and how the teachers find the overall outcome of the camp

stressed and worried that i won't do a good job

i was mainly worried that i couldn't build a rapport with the campers

and i was also uncertain if i was able to deliver

having been on a "hiatus" from doing camps

plus i felt that i kinda lost my spark the last time i did camps

i was feeling generally unprepared and not ready to be handed this challenge

there are three kinds of campers (at least in my book so far) :

1) those that are excited to be there

2) those that don't want to be there at all

3) those who don't know what to expect and have the sitting-on-a-fence situation

so with this camp, i would say most of them were type 2 campers

they all had the why-must-i-be-here attitude

we coaches were prepared to face the fact

that they will be hard nuts to crack

and did everything we can to prepare for it

when the time came, we all took it head-on

for me, every camp is a learning experience

if not for the campers but for me

i acknowledge the fact that at the end of the day

the campers walk away from the camp having learnt nothing

and probably won't remember shit from the camp

but i will definitely learn something

even if it was the simple fact that what we have shouldn't be taken for granted

so i told myself that i will go all out

and i will change my strategy whenever i sense that it will not work

so throughout the camp i used a lot of different methods

i played my whole playbook

in the end, i might have managed to crack a few nuts

it was very hard to tell

but having failed to make a difference to a larger fraction of my campers

brought me to tears at some point

i felt like i failed

but we all have to pick ourselves up

and i did

so i expected to great not-so-good reviews and feedback from the teachers

yet when i received the feedback,

i was utterly shocked and amazed

lesson learnt:

never underestimate your ability

it might not be the end goal in mind

but the process and method matter more then the outcome

if the process and method that i applied worked

but just need a longer time than 3D2N to achieve the stipulated ending

then it will prove good

so i guess i learnt to focus on process and not the end goal

it was a challenging yet fruitful camp for me

i am so glad i did the camp. (:

sometimes i wish i was born to different circumstances

less asian and more relax kinda style

not sure how to actually put this into words

to vent it out

and i guess it's not very "appropriate" to post this on the world wide web

but inside my head, i know

wish and wish

can't to grow up and just lead life the way i want it to be

but then i bet i will be those "normal" people

who will always think that the grass is greener on the other side

when i'm old enough to have to fend for myself

i will wish that i'm still young and couldn't care less

and didn't to bother about bills and taxes,

taking care of myself and basically being on my own

oh pfft, what a joke life is

we spend half the time wishing we were at some other point

and when we finally do get there,

we wish we were back where we were.

so retarded

but i guess that us humans

having insatiable needs and constantly searching for "greener pastures"

oh fuck,

golly good rawr

i finally went to watch the thai movie suckseed

it was really awesome

it was a good mix of comedy, drama and music

really good movie

and i will go as far to say that i want to own a dvd of the movie

the songs are good and catchy

some people might think that pfft it's in thai

and i don't understand the language

making it hard to watch and read subtitles at the same time

well then, you're just not talented enough

all in all a great movie and i recommend you to catch it

unfortunately i caught it when it's about to end it's screening in sg

hope the rest of you managed to catch it (:

i can't even begin to say how angry/disappointed i am

it's never a nice feeling

to get ready to go

all that's left is to wait

and wait and wait and wait

and it never happens

fuck.

being the total lazy-ass-bum that i am,

let's recap my wednesday,

oh-so-wholesome-and-well-spent wednesday.

putting myself to bed at say 2am,

i timely woke up at 5am then 8, 9, 10, 11

and finally peeled myself outta bed at 12.

cooked myself and skinny so instant noodles

cause we were too lazy to head out for lunch

so jeremy told me about how some of the ns guys

cook instant like cup noodles

where they just put the noodles in the mass tin

and put in the hot water and wait for it to cook

i tried that and boom!

IT WORKS BITCHES!

no more standing by the hot steaming pot

you can't get any lazier than that

after which i surfed the net, watched tv and gorged myself on snacks

then went to nap again

resurfaced at 6 for dinner and then surfed the net and watched tv

now, i've made myself some green tea and once again

am in front of my macbook

so bottomline, i'm NOT studying

and i'm getting FAT

RAWR

so, i've gone through a really really bad roller coaster ride

regarding my "future"

and, since i don't know who read this space

i won't divulge too much info

let's just say, i'm done with the ride

- - -

secondly, i received my ca results for all three subjects

a B+ and 2 As

surprisingly, and A for math!

(take that mr chan and mdm song! HAH!)

what i am kinda upset about is getting a B+ for english

i know that the marks were greatly affected by ca2

see, ca2 is a group assignment where we have to design a poster

and well, i have faith to say that we did a good job

before i submitted the work, i check, double-checked and TRIPLE-checked

but, when the teacher opened it, the text was all over the place

and she had to adjust it a bit to see the whole poster

so naturally, we were penalized

and since others didn't have a problem with it (since they used photoshop)

my group had to be marked down

she "blamed" it on my lack of skill

in my defense, who said it HAD (and if i don't i will die) to use photoshop?!

i don't even have photoshop

plus, when she showed us past batches' work,

she used ms word to open it

so why did she have a problem with mine?!

and afiqa rised a fair and justified point:

I'M STUDYING ENGLISH

this is bollocks

- - -

anyway, now i'm on study break

exams will be next wednesday to friday

then holidays till oct

please, will everyone pray/hope/wish that i spend my time productively

and with that,

i'm signing off

(oh, and apologies for the LONG hiatus)

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARCHIVE?!

SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE?!

):

went to watch a movie alone today

honestly, i'm really proud of myself

happy that i finally got off my ass to go alone

yes, i've done it before

but doing it now, is really important for me

no, i am not detaching myself from my life

nor am i detaching myself from my friends and family

i am just finally giving myself some me time

some time to do things i love,

with myself

why would people to do things they know are bad

and continue to do so even if it means hurting their loved ones?

i am thankful to be surrounded by people unlike the aforementioned group above

group work is ending soon!

bad news: we are NOT done yet!

good news: no more late nights editing incoherent chunks of stuff

i guess there's always a silver lining

been arriving at school later than i should

for the whole week now

hopefully this doesn't persist after this week

no more group work should equal earlier nights yes?

haven't posted in awhile

i've been really busy

grrr

anyway, a few days ago i was on the bus to school

and since it's during peak hour,

the bus was packed like sardines

and well, i was near the front

evidently, we were all so packed, rear and front

i was so close to this guy i could almost smell his hair

(gross, but yes)

so a few stops later,

a bunch of people alighted, approximately 10 plus?

but, magically, the squeeziness level at the front did not change

i repeat, DID NOT change

now, how the cheese balls is that possible?

apparently, there were people who decided they need more room

and just generally adjusted so they have more room

while the 20-odd front pack continue to smell each other's hair

wow people!

your selfishness astounds me.

i will get a sentosa islander membership

cause it's way cheaper

and i will be motivated to go!!!

excites!!!