ohkay,i was reading my old post (20th june) and realised i haven't talked about him like i promised.haha.so here goes...he's name is ryan and i j\used to like his lilbro and that's when i knew him.but his lilbro was just primary shit.anyway,so i liked him and we talked alot.but he doesn't know at first.then it got quite obvious and shit.during camp we talked for damn long and yeah...but it didn't work out.so i was emo for some time...

but then someone else came into the picture.he's malay and two years apart.it was fun hanging out la.but now he's mugging like shit so we aint talking much.but sometimes,i dunno if i'm doing the right things.you see,he used to be a matt and he's bad.but he's changed like hell (and fyi: he's model student in school kae?).but my friends (for my sake) told me things they saw with their own eyes.i mean i have no reason not to disbelieve them.they tell me, "once a playboy,alwyas a playboy".i dunno la.thats all for today.

heyhey.very long never update le.haha.been damn busy and tired.keep falling asleep.haha.anyway,today went to come lab during physics.thats why i went to my blog.the two girls with me so curious about my blog sia.so yeah,came to update when i saw the last post's date.haha.i'm effing broke sia.so have to start saving money.haha.so,i'll update when i have something to say.haha. (:

ohkay,finally i find time to blog.but i'm just too mixed to say much.i feel like so lost la.i dunno why i'm feeling liddat.(fuck shit,another emo post)but i can;t help it.and i'm upset.but i hope to find the answer soon.

haha..ohkay,so today was the exco outing.but we needed to go to school for some stuff.was late but still walked there with yas..haha.then they helped the aunties put up the curtains for the councillors' room.haha,pictures later.slacked till ms chua came.then went to do the class diary.easypeasy.but had a more vast job scope waiting for us to settle.sigh.then supposed to have a "meeting" with ms chua.but in the end she cannot..then we sneak off to sentosa lor..but during the journey,we very distracted.so finally made it there.then the started to drag and carry people into the sea.haha.i also kenna.by yas la.nehneh.haha.then played captain's ball in the water.damn fun but very tiring.then went to play volleyball,sucked hell.then soccer.then another round of water dragging.haha.then went to bathe.haha.then went to vivo to have linner (lunch+dinner).then walked a bit then come home.haha.wah lao,they all keep saying me and yas couple.haha.no way la.haha.

and now,the pictures.haha.

hardworking guys.

hardworking.

sadly,group photo not with me.shall upload next time. (: takkaire,

sigh.today started out as a very very bad day.i woke up late when i was supposed to wake up early to do some work before heading out.so i had to rush everything and in the end was late for the judging.but one of the guys from the judging department looked damn good and he's funny too!haha.then i went to meet yingjie.before boarding the train,i bought the mac's honeydew milkshake.not bad,just too sweet.so when i changed the train,i bumped into a lady and i was "oh shit!" and i had to pick it up.and then i went into the other train.the train started and i shuffled backwards.i screamed "fuck" damn loud and knocked into a group of guys behind.my head hit some guy's head la.fucking embarrassing.then i said sorry and didn't dare look at them la.but the day changed when we started shopping.haha i bought a pair of three quater whitewash jeans.haha.takkaire (:

hey all!i was so overwhelmed by all th tags.wonder how some got here.haha.anyway,i'll take some time before moving my lazy ass to change and add links so do bear with me.anyway,it's been long since i blogged so i'm gonna write out my whole hols.haha.bear with the long post.

28th may.

my grade4 piano exams.internal.the examiner was a tall lady that looked like she wanted to eat me.and it freaked me out.stumbled over everything and well,rushed out as soon as i could.(fyi,i passed on the dot (: )

29th may.

first day of hua chong SLC.got lost in their high school section which looked like a holiday resort.found the place and got settled.in group MINERVA!with 2 huachong guys,menghang and alwyn.only malay gal,azeerah.only indian guy,sankarsh.only other singapore chinese gal,jingting.one hongkong foreign participate,karman.one indian foreign participant,abu.our dearest fac,CJ!haha.had orchard orientation where my super useful good sense of direction and orchard wits came to good use.haha.didn't win but had a fun time.went back for the water bombing war.haha.was physically tired out.

30th may.

second day of SLC and it wasn't as fun.was all thinking.had to come up with an effective group action paper.then attended my first FORMAL consortium meeting.it was so formal,i nearly slept.haha.

31st may.

boring day.full of boring meetings.

2nd june.

last day.had performance.ecne sucked as a group.but their teamspirit was commendable.but they screwed the whole consortium performance.all in all a teary day.then met up with jinxuan jie.kept her waiting.really sorry.

4th june.

the start of my obs trip.haha.damn high.got there like in the afternoon?then had the admin. stuff.then had the general stuff.and finally,we set off.reached the campsite and food never tasted so good.haha.thinking of him.

5th june.

woke up and it my family's turn to lead.got the the base camp where we did high elements and started our boating trip to either campsite a or b.we were good and fast enough for b.haha,camped.thinking of him.

6th june.

found our trash all over the place cause some family didn't do sentry and the dogs got to it.continued our sea ex around the entire island.rowed like most of the journey,sometimes navigating and humouring the tired souls.haha.slept the last part of the journey in the slack boat and got BURNT(yay me!)!got to bathe.haha.thinking of him.

7th june.

land ex.tiring but damn fun...felt so accomplished when we reached the end and saw the breathe-taking sight of the quarry.damn beautiful.thinking of him.

8th june.

left pulau ubin.went to yppae to slack.then he walked me home.

10th june.

log shopping for tong xin camp.haha,fun shit.

11th june.

log shopping.and the rushing out of the shirts.damn nice la,our comm. tee.haha.ORANGE JUICE!!!

12th june.

first day of tong xin camp.haha.was late cause only had 15mins of sleep rushing out the stuff need for camp.at night,talked to him till like 3?

13th june.

second day.also had the pot luck.damn nice food man!thanks to all the uncles and aunties!haha.and our performance.i screwed up but was ohkay.haha.talked to him till like 1plus.damn sad.

14th june.

left the sembawang camp.cabbed home.rushed lunch and met him.he brought me to this damn cool place then went to buy his cds and went home.haha.

15th june.

totally quiet day.no interaction.talked to him.ended up crying cause the truth is he didn't wanna continue.doesn't feel as much as i feel for him.

16th june.

elbro and cousin's birthday.watched shrek.ate at crystal jade for dinner.celebrate fathers' day and birthday lor.went to the body shop.came back with loads of stuff.

17th june.

went the yppae to pack.turned into "spring cleaning" of M24.haha

18th june.

partII of "spring cleaning"

19th june.

went to town on my own.dun feel inferior now.i think i've found confidence. then to ballet(yay me!)!

20th june.

going to the science centre to judge on the competition.then going out with yingjie.

21st june.

going to school to prepare for the department meeting the next day.and for ms chua to see us.then continuing with the sentosa outing.

22nd june.

outing with my mum.

the other days are serious homework days.rushing to complete my homework.

you see me talking about him.but i'm not ready to talk about him.so do bear with me.

you guys,just takkaire and god bless you. (:

haiz.today's vesak day and also the day my uncle's tablet is arriving at his home.so now all the poeple are gathered here to do the ceremony and stuff.well anyway,let me update you on the huachong SLC that has taken place on tuesday,wednesday and two more days to come,friday and saturday.

tuesday,which is the first day was sort of the orientation.we went to orchard and had the orchard orientation.it was fun and i was namely the walking street directory.haha.i was good.[grins]then we went back for mass games,throwing water bombs at people.haha.it was great.we were physically tired out.

wednesday,the second day was a more formal day.we had to write out an action paper on two major problems.we spent 5hours plus thinking and writing,then we had a formal consortium meeting.it was my first time in a real fromal consortium meeting.and it was really fun in a way.we were all mentally worn out.haha.only two more days and SLC will be over,time really flies.haha.

well,seeya!haha (= takkaire.

haiz.it just totally sucks,being in the council.he's not stable enough and doesn't carry authority.tsktsk.i worry for our 21st council.i know i should be giving my greatest support.but sometimes,i feel that he dosen't deserve to be the head casue he can't step up to the challenge.and sometimes,things aren't always what they seem.and i've learnt to not trust people.cause looks can be deceiving.and it takes alot to know what dirty secrets lie ahead.

i'm beat on friday.having to worry and get effing pissed with a number of people,i really didn't know what to do.and i was really touched when my friends just got me to sit and stone there while they left me to myself.really,it helped me.when things started having it momentum,i got the hang of things too.and the meet was more or less alright?

i believe i can do better and i want to do better.i want to prove to them that i really dun need them and that i can jolly well survive on my own.and by right,i'm not a lone stranger,people dun like them as well.and thats becasue of what they did and not what i said to them,(i'm not that influencial and they can disbelieve me).

this two weeks have been really really hectic.whats with the investiture coming up(its over)and the preparations for the inverstiture and meet.darn the school for giving so much time(not).steeping up to the mike,i didn't know i had a habit of softening my voice.and with the eyes on me,i read monotone-ly.but i will work harder.i want(hope)to be an exco teachers will remember.

and now i feel kinda bad when i "take over" the president.cause is the president and i will feel bad.but now,i will do my best,even if it means that i'll "overtake".cause the kids need order and firmness.and if he can't take charge and give that,i have to take over.otherwise,our council will collapse like what the student body and councillors think.they foresee us fail.but i will do my best anf give my all to ensure that it doesn't fail.and it will have to start from me.i have to do best of what i know.

ok.so i haven't been doing regular posts this past week or so?well that's cause i've recently received my post as vice president for the 21st student council.darn the post man,because of the investiture and other stuffs,i've missed FIVE ballet lessons.WHAT THE FUCK!damn the school.it just sucks.i hope i haven't demoted myself into my teacher's black book.

haiz.

ok.so today went for yppae.then instead of the magical holiday camp meeting,was the friendship camp.then i became the vice-chairman.haha.stressed sia.haha.today finally sent out the consent forms.hope the response will be good.only left 4sundays to the camp and time is really running short.haha.oh and for the choir,i'm in soprano.haha.so happy.cause its the melody.easiest to sing.hehe..drama for today wasn't quite fun but hope it will get better.haha.as for the poem recitation,i'm the group leader.and the poem for my group is about FRUITS.so...interesting.haha.dunno what to expect.and we're supposed to sing it?dunno how to do so.haha.

well takkaire. (:

after i retired to my room to cry in peace,tears didn't flow out.nothing came out.i just felt really really tired.as if,i could fall asleep even while standing.

i'm just really tired of this kinda rubbish you people throw at me.you'd think i'll kill to have fakers and actors in my life.and then treat them like what you call friends?save it.i'm not interested.

but now that i'm awake and reading my stuff again,i feel nothing.i'm just numbed towards this kinda crap.save your act in front of other people.you are the ones "pretending" your ass off.

like my url tells you,my life ain't your life.
you say i have no rights so talk about such stuff?well,you're in no position to reprimand me about it anyway.and anyway,you are no better yourself.well well well,i can probably guess who the fuck you are.but you ain't gonna be here to access my blog anyway.but since you're such a superbeing where you can actually assess my situation and conclude that i'm a bitch.well,i can also conclude that you're no better.and i dun look in the mirror.my bad.i just use my time to make sure people like you have a time of their lives and have the material to look at.consider the deed done.

you people have no rights to step into my life and say anything.cause first of all,you all are in no position to talk.secondly,i'm not hypocritical like you both are.thirdly,i have real friends.not like you guys who have FAKE friends.and thankfully,you showed me your true colours.then i no longer ahve to waste my precious time on you guys.and really,i rather i be a loner in school then mix around with you guys.haha.

i can believe that my temper is really better then you guys.and really,your temper is much worse then mine.at least i know my real friends can understand me.not like you guys,little bit also can't take it.haha.take a hike. (:

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

who do you think you are?why do i always have to "pretend" around you?somehow,you always demand us to please you and shun and step aside when you come by?you think you're so effing big and stuff?well no you aren't.why can you feel the way you feel and say the things you want and others can't?you have no rights to do so and behave like that?you're like a bitch.you're just a toy that people pick up and play with.then discard you when they had enough fun.that's how miserable you are.

and "yes,i am pissed.and i have the right to be.although i had a part to play but you were the trigger.and because of you,i end up crying every night.you caused me to have endless screaming catastrophes with my parents.and you're getting pissed cause i'm blaming you?reflect your fucking fake life girl.just blame myself for seeing the wrong people.and that i'm too rash when making decisions..

everytime. ):

STOP FINDING MY BLOG!

why must you all keep finding my blog?darn it.and,"yes i WAS pissed with you.but who wasn't?but now,all's done cannot be undone.so get over it.i'm no longer pissed.so stop dwelling over the fucking dumb issue.

whats wrong with me?i'm crazy enough to forfeit my results with dumb ideas.that's how dumb i am.haiz.

i wanna lead a whole new life.one where i'm a successful person and i know whats right and whats wrong.i want to lead a life where i dun have to beg to get what i want.i like the fact that there are peopl on the earth who can spend how they like.andits really cool to lead a life like that.just one week i all i ask for.and then i get to keep whatever riches from that week.i just wanna be rich and powerful!haha.i'm like crazy and insane but who doesn't wanna be rich.

they say money can't buy you happiness.its not entirely true.everything now talks money.you get a husband,you need money.set up a family,you need money.no money,you can't live.so everything's about money.

i have big ideas but they need money.how heartwarming?

this life just darn sucks. (:

FUCKFUCKFUCK

i can't believe that my life can be so fucking screwed.

today,my phone and 5 others were confiscated by the dms cause during our bio paper,SOMEONE'S phone needed to ring.the teacher(being a dm herself,)conducted a bag check.and got confiscated.by right it should be held for 10weeks for students and 20 weeks for councillors.but ms chua gave us 5weeks.but i'm still fucking pissed.the culprit wasn't caught with a handphone.and SHE should have admitted.cause it's HER fault,not ours.fuck la.she put in a netting compartment behind her pad.then the male teacher did do much to it.what the fuck.can you believe it?i'm like what fucking crappy world is this la.how can like that de?wah lao.i'm like so freaking pissed la.what the fucking.and she got pissed when one classmate got pissed with her.what right has she got to be pissed?she got us all in trouble when she didn't even get caught la.

WHAT THE FUCK!