haiz.today's not my day!!!i think i'm really pms-ing lor.keep on getting pissed over stuff.although to me,it may appear to be very big thing.but to them others,they may think its some small small thing.haiz.

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

esther wait for me to finish my tweening programme meeting and i was so surprised!!!she was the only one who waited for me(hint hint)!thanx esther ah ma!!!haiz.then she told me she got fifth in class.i was happy for her.congrats.then she tell me i didn't get top 5 but is below 10.i stun tio.i'm so disappointed with myself can?i have disappointed my parents and also the teachers.haiz.altought they had never said that they had faith in me or whatever,i felt like i have let them down.i'm just an utterly hopeless failure.haiz.i can forget about going to thailand for holiday liao.i go there can't even do a single thing.i have no expenses to spend.my mum made a deal t give me 2k(baht) to spend if i get top 3 in class.haiz.i dun wanna go liao.let everyone down then still go there and wait for them to pay for my stuff.failure is liddat one lah...haiz.i no hope le.just now science period go com lab.then mrs chan ask me i going to 3e5 anot.i shrugged.then she say that i HAVE to to.dun waste.then i over there so sad.cause i know i won't do well.cause i can't work well with stress then i also not confident can go 3e5.haiz.i'm just so utterly disgusted by the sight of me.

me is such a bitch can?she so freaking stupid then over there show off.act clever,"give tuition".please lah.as if people go her "tuition" got help liddat.got improve meh?no lor.please lah.me,if you're reading,go and reflect and see how bitchy you are lah.then if you think finish already,you can prepare a will(like we even care)and then can go jump down the building.better still,you can die in a car,so not too messy and troublesome for the cleaners and coroners.also remember to keep a note by your side.so the police can no need waste time to find the cause and reason of your death.dun worry,no one will miss you de.you can leave peacefully.i just hate me so much!!!

why did i receive this kinda marks?i rather not know.i rather die then know my ever so disappointing marks.i just hate myself so much!why must she do all this to her family and teachers?BITCH!!!

haha.today enjoyed myself so much!went out with rachelle,lifang,esther,angie,xueling,huishan,rachel,cindy(in no order of preference)!haha.was so enjoyable.haha.

I"M IN NEED OF MONEY!!!so i wanna look for a SUPER flexi job.if anyone got lobang please help.(please note.it's not for leisure purposes but for personal reasons)

apologies for the short post.will try to write more next time.

oh sharks,i'm writing as if i'm a huge superstar(yes,yet again).as if there are millions of people waiting for my daily updates.haha.tata people!takkaire!!! (: especially wilson khoo(my very cute didi) who's sick due to the haze.please get well soon!and people,please take GOOD care of yourselves! (:

haiz...i never thought that it was so near,but 2e5'06 will be over soon.althought we're not like graduating and leaving,never to return.we'll still see each other in school but t'll be different to walk into class in 2007 and realise that we're in a different class and there ain't no familiar faces.i'll never forget this class,never.all the faces and times we had,will never be forgotten.haiz.I MISS THIS CLASS!!!

i really hope that we can make the chalet a success.i really dun wanna go and scold the guys(which i already did) but they really pissed me off.i read nic's blog and even though i dun agree with what he says,if thats the case with all guys,at least come for the bbq.details of the chalet will be at the bottom of the this entry.

haiz.i've let ** go le.i've moved on and i hope it will last long.

details of the chalet
date: 1st-3rd nov
venue: costa sands resort (sentosa)

BBQ
date: 2nd nov
venue: costa sands resort (sentosa)
time: starts at 5pm.but can come as early as you want.

notice*
*if stay on 1stN,must stay for 2ndN
*can stay over on 2ndN after BBQ if you want

if anyone wants to suggest anything,can find *rachelle, esther,lifang,sooneng,joel,me*
if anyone wanna be part of the organising party,feel free to ome to us.but tell us at least 1 day in advance. (first meeting, 18th nov)

haiz.exams are finally over.i dun like what i see and i dunno how to react.i'm upset.really really upset.i've worked so hard and i screwed up.thanx for the time,hazel!

yesterday we got back our hisory.ms chua was reprimanding us.she said that she felt that we've traded our history paper for our math paper(we had maths p2 and his).she said she was disappointed but will respect our decision.and as she walked down the aisle to and out our papers personally,she said to me that i didn't do that well.i crumbled.i was hurt.i for one had not traded my history paper for the math paper.i will never let math overrule history.i have never liked math,and i dun think i ever will.i studied hard but i screwed up.that doesn't mean i've given up on history.i'm sorry to say but i'm not gonna agree with ms chua this time.

i'm so scared and worried.i hope i can get into 3e5.but deep down i dun wanna go to 3e5...

1*my marks aren't high enough
2*i dun work well under stress
3*i've got no friends there to walk with me
4*i'll miss my slacking days
5*i've no extra time to spend in school
6*i'm not willing to spend extra time in school
7*there's lots of pressure
8*i'm a slacker
9*i probably got my marks(class tests)tyco-ly but deep down i'm justa pathetic sucker
10*3e5 's not meant for me...

time passes quickly and soon we'll all be in different classes.the girls have organised a class chalet for the class and guess what?the boys won't go...they're so mean!whats their problems anyway?stupid childish people.why can't the understand the efforts the girls went through to organise the chalet and they can say the dun wanna go.just when i feel that the class had gotten closer,the boys wuld wreck it and spoil the bond.only a few bys are co-operative enough to say they're going.but some so-called"co-operative"boys stood us up when they realised that their friends aren't going.
conversation
boy: ok,i'll go.
girls:great.thanx
boy:ummm.i'm not going.
girls:why?
boy:so little boys going.and A not going,i dun wanna go le.
girls:wah lao...
it was something liddat lah.

and one even more worse.i won't elaborate.haiz.i'm knida disappointed and furious.i shan't drop too many hints.haiz.

on monday,something happaned and it was all a misunderstanding.i wanna make peace with her.but she dun seem like she bothers.and i dunno how to start.so...
*ummm.you're reading this,i'm sorry for saying stuff about you when i have never gotten all the facts.and trusted a one-sided story(no offence).i hope you can forgive me.please tag so that i know you've read this and i'll give you a personal apology again on monday.thanx. (:

so many things happen and i dunno what to do.haiz.i read a email my friend sent me and its so true.and kinda saddening and happy too. (: + ): haha.


i need enlightenment


i need to see the light

i need to have faith and hope...

sharks!i'm talking as though i'm a christian,as though i'm in big trouble.

but when we are lost or having trouble(s),find someone else who has a bigger problem and we'll soon forget all about our own. (=

everyone takkaire and god bless.

hopeless and a failure

haiz...things change.(i know)but some are just drastic and sometimes,i just dun wanna change.its difficult to accept. ):

i wish i can talk to someone about it.someone that knows how to listen and i mean really.i dun think there's some miracle button that can turn back tme.but at least alking to someone can relieve the funny feeling.some changes are just not easy to accept.its as if i'm looking through a certain "template".but changing "templates" is diffcult.i requires oneself to get used to it.

certain things happen in life and you never seem to be able to figure out why.people call this fate.but i'm sure that there's a reason!(or so i think)haiz.the world never a fair place.some people just get the good things and some that the dun deserve while some people gets crap.even all of us do not know how "lucky"we are,why do some people just get everything?haiz.NOT FAIR!!!

oh yah!i have changed my blogskin and this skin doesn't have the loves&hates part.soi'll just write here.haha.

I HATE FLIRTS!!!

and i have cleverly found out that the word 'flirt' is not just a word but an abbreviation.and i have skillfully decoded it...(keke)

F**king
Lonely
Idiot(s)
Randomly
Treasure-hunting*

*treasure-hunting refers to hunting of the opposite sex...

i just can stand them!!!

everybody is stressed up over eoys!and i'n not one of them!haha! (: sadly,i fall under the catergory of "dead"..i can already see the headlines:-
"TEEN MEETS THE DEVIL DUE TO OVER STRESS"
scary!
how can i actually ever dream of going to the triple science stream?i must be crazy man!

my new life...
i had never expected that a bond can be so fragile and had actually broke due the spark that was created by a special connection with a 'family'.

i'm not an unreasonable person who have disputes with anyone and everyone over nothing.i dun work down orchard road and just pick out a random person and start shouting vulgarities and start hating them.i won't also not be so attention-thirsty to draw a huge crowd to look at me hurling 'colourful' language in the middle of orchard road.i ust be beserk to do that!and i'm certainly sane enough to maintain my composure.

also,i dun not start a dispute with someone over one thing.i usually 'give chances'.anyway,our friendship was already wobbling over the edge.anything could happen.it could have lost balance and fall off.or it could have swung back to safe land.apparently,it chose to shatter and i couldn't have avoided it.FATE,that's what it is.

we had kept up the 'cold war' for 3 days.however,we had something on today and we're together.when we were ready to leave,we were standing at the curb,ready to cross the road.however,this road had no 'middle' curb to seperate the two way road.i we were ready to cross when i noticed that a car was coming,while she was looking at the other side.and she even had stepped down from the curb.i was ready to put aside our dispute for that second and pull her back.she had also noticed a car from the other side and thought i was going to cross.she also held her hand out to pull me back.we held our hands out at the same time and we caught hold of each other and we haled ourselves back.we then turned toward each other as if nothing had happened between us.we smiled at each other and then realised where we are and who we were.we immediately let go and i turned away.that moment was sort of magical.i don't mean it in as in i like her or whatever.instead,it was magical in a friends kind of way.

my besties have asked me to make peace.however,it's difficult.i don't know how to explain.but i just have a feeling that i'm not looking at the full picture.i may be misunderstood atsome point.or i may have misunderstood her.my view is blur.

and now for pictures.hmmm.looking at them reminds me of the funky time we had together.i love my class!


isn't that me?and i'm FLYING!!!(please pardon the ugly everything) (:


and here is the picture where everyone is in the air! (:

unfortunately i dun have a full calss photo.shall find it and post it! (:

and lastly something i 'painted' myself,


and now,i shall sign off! (: takkaire people!oh yah!soon eng,GET WELL SOON!!!with lots of love,hazel (:

keke.i've had a wonderful day on friday.cause it was our 2e5'06 class outing.as joel would put it,"it was considered a successful one." (: anyway,i'm proud to claim that i've obtained a DARKER skin tone!!!yay! (: keke.anyway,we took pictures at siloso beach.so do visit again when i've uploaded them. (:

haiz.sian.i wanna say so many things buts very lazy to write down.sian.haiz.yesterday(sunday)was my mummy's birthday.then we went to Fish & Co. to have dinner.wah!spend $117 in total.i ate the grilled seasonal catch of the day in cacun sauce.wah!siok leh!i'm drooling already!haha.enjoyed so much.i have decided to come up with reasonable resolutions that i will what to meet by the end of this year,2006.

resolutions
1* stop cracking my knuckles
2* stop biting my nails(bad habit)
3* really carry out CAT
4* take real good care of myself, in and out

people,please help me if you consider me your good kaki.haha.jkjk.i'll try to do my best. (:

oh yah,today wilson didi got sore eyes and then go home then kena both eyes.he first got it because of his bro.then go home kena again.(i tld you it was air-borne)haha.takkaire my dear didi.

takkaire everyone! (: now alot people de immune system deteoriating.so TAKKAIRE!!! (:

haha.so long never update liao.ummm lots of thing happened and i dun wanna talk about it.but today is the first day for the song dedication for teacher's day.then i'm the DJ for the second recess until wednesday.haha.get to miss 4 periods.haha.haiz.then i stuttered twice.shitty mama.sory guys and gals.i really nothing to update about.

takkaire people!

haiz.so sian.on saturday,i after go see the chinese doctor in the morning,then i after awhile,severe headache!head throbbing hard man!then i go lie down.then i feel my body very warm but feeling super cold.then i take temperature, 37.77degrees.not very high but i feel super bad lah.feel like nua nua one.haiz.then i eat lunch then go lie down somemore.then fell asleep.then wake up go out with my mum.haha.but still very uneasy.somemore my bag so heavy.all the music books i need for class later.haha.

then today,got yppae.then got movement class.then very fun.then got one girl(dun think she will read rite?nvm,shan't spoil her "name"),she piss me off lah.she think she's oh so good arhs?always act,everytime act.as if like dun act will die.

made-up scenerio
gal: *starts acting,AGAIN*
me: can you just STOP acting?
gal: oh no,i can't.i'm under a spell.the "must-always-act"spell.if i dun act,i'll die a terrible death

haha.shitty mama lah.why must she act?and it's not only me that thinks so lor.others too.and i just can't stand it.so what if she learns dance?i too learn,but do you see me being cocky?crappy shit lah.

he didn't come again today.last week course got choir,but today dunno why.his lil bro also never come.

it was easier to forget you at the moment,cause you didn't appear.but i dunno if i'll be able to take it if you apear before again. ):

hmmm.if you're thinking why i so early already up.thats because i've gone to see the doctor and just got back.sian.i need to eat more medicine.and somemore is super bitter.bleah!>.< anyway,i have actually made up my mind.and it is to really CAT!!!and i've decided to try not to be so violent.haha.i'll TRY!!!not confirm guarantee chop!haha.

show you guys and gals a ballet photo again.

ain't she graceful?my gawd!i wanna be able to dance like her!!!but i know it'll never happen. ): if any of you pople got see any nice ballet photo,must tell me kaes?hehe!!! (:

takkaire people!spread the love and smiles!!!if need anything or wanna confide in anyone(and you dun mind telling me)then you can come and find me(: and i dun spread secrets of any kind!thats something i can 100%confirm guarantee chop(:

i've decided to give up on you.i dun wanna wait for something that has no ending. ):

haiz.i got nothing to post.but my esther ah ma made a request to update.so here i am...updating.haha.

i think ELVIN NG is a super duper uber hunkie hottie.here's his drama photos (Love at 0°)enjoy! (:


She Wei Xiang (acted by Elvin Ng)

Sun Yi Xin (acted by Rui En) & She Wei Xiang (acted by Elvin Ng)

Sun Yi Xin (acted by Rui En) & She Wei Xiang (acted by Elvin Ng)

Sun Yi Xin (acted by Rui En) & She Wei Xiang (acted by Elvin Ng)

Sun Yi Xin (acted by Rui En) & She Wei Xiang (acted by Elvin Ng)

and now for my FAVOURITE picture.(drumroll...)

She Wei Xiang (acted by Elvin Ng)

SHUAI rite?i know!!!i put super big so you peeps out there can see CLEARLY!!!

credits
all pictures have been taken from channel 8 (http://ch8.mediacorptv.com/shows/drama/view/749/2/.html)

sian

hmmm.let's see what happened today...oh yah.today science and geography teacher never come.then we knew we had to sing song and celebrate teachers' day on 31st august.the rachelle,lifang,esther and me got so HIGH!!!then we decided to compose our own song cause we can't think of any suitable songs.so we called faiz and joel to help.we decided to use the "High School Musical" one of the song, "When there was me and you"de tune.we rewrote the lyrics and voila, a SONG!!!then we used the OSL JJC leadership (that osl members went to) some cheers to add to our mini performance.we got really high.

on saturday, 12 august.we had our BVSS cross-country race.c division girls started first.then i from the back run all the way to the front.then when nearing the end, the stupid teacher direct me wrong and the stupid marshall ever even stop me.i had to detour and guess what? I FINISHED SECOND!!!dun worry i didn't type wrong.i got a BLOODY SECOND!!!can you believe it?i tell mr chan the teacher-in-charge and guess what he say, "nvm lah.sorry i very busy"!!!wth lah!!!how can liddat?NVM!!!of course nvm lah. you teachers never run rite?it means alot to me lor.and becuase of some bloody human error,i end up SECOND!!!it was the first time we were running there.they dun wanna direct properly then at least show us our route lah.never even give us the slightest impression of it and expect us to follow the BLOODY directions of the BLOODY TEACHERS AND MARSHALL!!!what fcuk?i fought all the way from the BACK to the FRONT and this is what i get?!i'm hurt lor.wah lao.this is not only the only problem lor.but i'm not going to post.

you're always on my mind, but your heart a different person.i try to wash you away,but you just keep clinging on.i try to forget you,but you just won't disappear.why oh why?you keep standing here?

down in my life

haiz.so sian.and my life is so down it can't be worse(i hope so)haiz.dun really wanna blog about my life cause it sucks.haha.lots happened and i hate it!especially when people blame and accuse you of doing things that you didn't do!

well i talked to him yesterday night(until my effing dad off the com) and also today!yay!i'm SOOOO HAPPY!!!i'm like in the world of euphoria!untili remember my miserable life and go sucked in back to reality.well, i really enjoyed talking to HIM lah!all my close kakis will know who i'm talking about! :)

i wanted to forget you,but you always make it so hard.your smile,you eyes, your everything just makes me wanna hold on a little longer.