doing everything else but what i need to do

fucking CAs

why do you exist?

just to watch me suffer?

went to timbre @substation last friday

and as usual 53A was playing (MEGA YAY!)

then someone requesting for "I Won't Give Up"

by jason mraz

i've heard it a few times, but somehow that day it was different

maybe it was sara's voice, or the way she sang it

or maybe it was because that was a special night with jeremy

(he had a 24hr shift duty the next day, so he only has that night out,

so he sacrificed sleep time to bring me to timbre. SO SWEET)

or maybe the stars aligned (what bullshit am i pulling?)

but anyway, the song tugged on my heart strings

and touched my heart

it was awesome

the lyrics are so meaningful

and every line and word and syllable

struck a chord and made sense to me

jason mraz is an amazing song writer

jeremy, i won't give up on you

or this relationship or us

no doubt it'll be tough

but i won't give up, that's for sure

i love you! (:

i watched The Vow on saturday with jeremy

and it got me thinking,

a lot in fact

how do people move on from such a traumatic event?

to not be able to remember what you built

and to lose a whole fragment of your past

to no longer be able to feel what you feel for someone

seeing your loved one just fade away into another being before your eyes

to feel like you lost that person forever (or till their memory comes back)

living in the fear of not regaining the memory

and doing everything you can in hopes of triggering something from the past

to not lose hope and not give up

to feel the helplessness of not being able to do anything

to just not be able to remember

seriously hating where i am now

i hate studying and the pressure is just fucking insane

i just want to live without having to care so much about a gawddamn paper

seriously, i want to move out of this society and just be me

this is bullshit

since the last time i posted a blog entry

many things happened and filled up my life

i celebrated my 20th birthday

and it is the best one yet

in no way am i making this a contest,

but every year i just get so happy during my birthday

and every year the celebrations make me realise just how lucky i am

on a sadder note,

i start school today

in an hour, my new school semester will commence

and i will hate it so bad

thank goodness for my friends and family