when i've done my part to improve

when i've actually tried to put in effort

i didn't expect to see immediate results

or fantastic results straight away

but i didn't expect to fail to terribly as well

you must be thinking why i don't listen in your class

why i'm just so fucked up and full of attitude

well,let me break it down for you

1) you suck at your job [seriously,no joke]

2) you're obviously against me [yes it's that obvious, but luckily the feeling's mutual]

3) you said you'll help me, but you didn't [so i can do the same with my effort]

4) i tried and i failed terribly, what more is there to be said?

if i'm a math idiot, i am one

who can change that?

DEFINITELY NOT YOU

and i just don't have the will to try again

your attempt at talking to me

or punishing me is to no avail

cause i just don't FUCKING respect you

you are just a ***** to me

and i just adhere so i don't waste my classmates' time

and also to not let you have your way

watch me; motherfucker

today has been an overall tough day

i was trying to be mentally strong despite all that's going on

it might have been an ordinary day for anyone else

but the personal battles i encountered today was not ordinary at all

i don't need you to judge what i do or decide

if i blow it this time

where will i end up

will i get a second chance?

so much is riding on it

yet there's so little i can do

or accomplish

i seriously feel like a failure

there's a saying;

give respect to gain respect

similarly, if you don't respect the sport,

how do you think you can gain the respect of those who truly respect the sport?

no offense to those who are reading this

but don't you think you owe it to everyone to give your all?

even though i know i'm gonna lose the race

i still go all out

i don't pull out nor do i just slow paddle

i whack till i pant and heave

cause i owe it to my competitors to give my all and a good fight

and of course my team and people who are behind me throughout

i feel that if you don't have the right attitude and mentality

then you're in the wrong place

having the right mindset will get you far,

in the middle it's all about physicality

but then the end is all back to mindset

if you ain't strong, even the strongest [physical strength-wise] will fall

if it applies to you

please think HARD and DEEP

canoeing is NOT a leisure sport

it requires a deep sense of passion and willpower

and definitely needs persistence and strength

ARE YOU READY TO GIVE YOUR ALL

AND FIGHT TO THE FINISH?

carpe diem

sunburnt and loving it!

we've resumed training and

honestly we've got much to catch up on

adding on, the weather's being a bitch

going rainy and blazing-hot all in a matter of minutes

everyone who went for training is burnt

so please, everyone, whether you're training or not

DRINK LOADS OF WATER and STAY IN THE SHADE!

with that, a shoutout to my team,

TIME TO CHARGE PEOPLE!

NO TIME TO WASTE! (:

got a bag from the team!

thank you to the two who "lied" to me

and went to buy the bag! (:

pictures soon, am so fucking tired

but lastly, a shoutout to those who made my day!

am touched/thankful/grateful to the max

(:

THANK YOU ALL WHO MADE ME SMILE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER TODAY!

(: (: (:

YOU ALL MADE MY DAY AWESOME; despite the horrid paper!

so i got flowers from my girlfriends!

and also a really really cool shirt from the class!

and also the many many texts from people i love and care (:

then there's coffeebean surprise too! (:

TODAY IS HAPPY MUCH!

another year

hell yeah!

another year!

i can't think straight

when someone constantly spouts out

retarded, nonsensical bullshit

while sitting right beside you

my shoutout to my lovely younger brother

yo HOMO; you LOMO

shit i need to poop....

nah...

what daren long does when he's bored! -.-

list of cameras i'ma gonna buy myself

to take pretty pictures with my loved ones [yes ash, you two]

and of course what i love (:

top on the list

1) old-school polaroid

2) canon/nikon dslr

3) lomo camera

4) holga camera [the multi-coloured one; hopefully]

5) multi-lens [is that what you call it?] camera

6) jelly camera [i have this already!!!! say woohoo!]

pretty pictures (:

it's those you love that can make your gloomy mundane day so much better!

i had much fun at coffeebean today

2 more papers 2 more days

counting down to the big week

may our hard work pay off!

common tests are enough to kill me

and it's ain't even comparable to nationals

cause i'm ready for the latter

and nowhere close to being prepared for the former

kill me; NOW

you're pulling me in

just like gravity

(:

national juniors was overwhelming

hitting new timings and getting dissed in the face

pushing along my team and losing in the end

all in all, it was an experience that will follow me as long as i breathe

the camp after it was a double whammy

the senior team was tired and drained

and well, times have definitely changed

i really hope we'll clear all that we need to

and then come nationals,

we'll be really to come back with a vengeance

here goes nothing,

gonna be a flash of days as soon as the sun rises

geepeepaperboatcontrolnationaljuniors

am i ready for this marathon?

oh my gawd

truthfully, it's great to see coach today

felt so helpless without mr a and coach for 3-4 whole weeks

(i'm sure the team agrees with me)

and now that the startlist is out

and competition is THIS COMING WEEKEND

i can't help but feel fucked

like supa overwhelmed

and ready to jump off a building fucked

but i will push on

all out and geared up to go all the way,

for the win; for my team

they didn't come

cause they didn't know

they won't come

cause they aren't around

they can't come

cause they have commitments

trying hard not to let it get to me

salt water tastes oh-so-sweet now

we're all waiting for the day

dreading, but awaiting deep down

we'll be going out;

all out

but will it be good enough?

when you know for a fact you're gonna let them down

you find it so hard to stomach the fact that they still stand by you

feeling like you owe them so much

how can this be,

when you're so undeserving

FUCKING WAKE UP YOUR IDEA HAZEL

CAUSE YOU DON'T WANNA LET THEM DOWN

after so long,

we will be defined in that short 3-5 minutes

but what are we fighting so hard for?

it's time to wake up all your idiotic and childish ideas

and work towards something worth being proud of

otherwise, WHY BOTHER?

if you always do what you've always did

you'll always get what you've always got

WHAT DO YOU WANT THIS TIME?

timedsetstechniquesprintsrunpullupgymdrypushup

hell yeah!

for the team, for the gold