fuck

fuck

fuckity

fuck

i'm swinging on my moodswing!

i'm constantly swinging from

happy to sad

smiling to mad

positive to crying

~~~

the highlights of my life:

i've just lost my buddy

i've just screwed up countless papers (ohkay,5)

i've just bought a purple nalgene bottle

i'm sick of macdonalds

i'm writing three short stories (2 in the making,1 four-part series)

i'm not happy with my current performance

i don't really like myself

i'm constantly having violent thoughts

i'm constantly acting happy and i can't stop myself

i'm weirded out by me

i hate me

IT'S ALL GOING DOWNHILL

IT'S ALL GOING DOWNHILL

IT'S ALL GOING FREAKING DOWNHILL!!!

FUCK LA!!!

my hopes for agood school is fading

fading

fading

away

...

three days of papers,

and it has been rather ohkay.

i am rather happy with my performance,

but not sure whether the markers are happy with my answers.

hope they'll like it.

amaths p1 was ohkay,

do-able.

just a B(something) and i'll cry out tears of joy!!!

it's all gonna end soon!!!

TWENTY-TWO more days!!!

~~~

trying really hard to save money

so as to be able to splurge and de-stress.

(:

~~~

when there's a loss,

it's when we really realise how fragile life can be

it need not be someone who's close to our hearts,

cause the little things can tug a one's heart

the absence can be felt and will be missed

then it led me to think about the people in my life

i will be honest that i've been a little superficial

but i am also honest that i do give people chances

but some just can't have too many chances

i've given that one too many chances

whatever,it's all over

~~~

you tell that little bitch that we have no more ties.

WE'VE SERVERED TIES BITCH!!!

so try staring at me again slut!!!

now i have no excuse to make you bleed to death

last time,it was because you're his little bitch,

now,he's no longer my friend

just try me slut!

oh and he told me not to insult you cause he doesn't let you insult me

i'm really thinking whether that really is true

you're so fake,i'm not sure how much of you is real

so you can act all innocent in front of that pathetic cad

at least i'm all in his face

so for the last warning,

you better stop staring me down,

cause you really can't afford it!!!

i took a picture with a total hottie!!!

a malay stranger!!!

he had a dare and i freaking took a picture with him!!!

(: (: (:

kae.i sound totally desperate

but he really is hot!

~~~

anyway,

there's like two days to o levels

chemistry for the first paper

and i'm CALMLY FREAKING OUT!!!

as ms pearly chung (piano teacher) said,

it's good to be calmly freaking out

as not freaking out and totally calm is not healthy

so yeah,i'm like nervous!!!

~~~

met up with weineng yesterday

at king albert park macdonalds

he came for dinner and stayed anyway

missed blonde on his birthday though

he was there at four,i reached at five

bummer!!!

but at least i called and wished him a jolly good birthday

so that's the two-weeks-or-more in a nutshell

shall blog if time,my wits and my nerves permits!

(:

love is like a plant,

let it grow in the best conditions

with love and warmth and attention

but too much water drowns the plant,

too much love will suffocate the plant,

so to compromise,

i'll give and take

and accept you with love and respect

i regret letting you go

and after so long,

i've realised that what i felt was not hate

but a fear of rejection

how was i to know whether you'll accept me as a friend

i regret the choice of letting anger and fear overtake me

but to live life with no regret is important

so for what i regret i make up

but you choose not to accept and so i let it go

i've tried my very best to step outta my comfort zone

but since it's not reciprocated,

i shall let it slip by

learn to adapt

to expect the unexpected

live life like never before

because you never know when darkness will seize you

see and listen with your heart

cause soon you'll be numbed by reality

love like there's no tomorrow

and dream as high as can be

take whatever comes with strength and vigour

or it will slip away and never come back

never.come.back.

i'm so bored of AMATHS!!!

take me away from all this tension

think,

how am i even gonna be able to work my way up

when all i'm going is down down down

life sucks!