hehe.went to watch stomp the yard on friday.haha.so freaking nice. (: all the guys have pecs la.haha.and stepping is so cool!!!can't wait to catch the other movies on the list. (:

went home at 11.35.but walked xiaojun back because was dark.then walked to the bus stop.missed my last bus but took another bus.then my dad called then kinda scolded me on some stuff.nvm.then changed bus and reached home at like 1 plus.bathe then sat here till now.

think i'm sick.in class,my friends dun feel cold but i feel cold.i have a sore throat and now i'm shivering when there's no wind nor fan or aircon.my body isn't normalbody temp.darn this hectic school days. ):

watever it is,i've done my bit and actually more then asked from.so i'm quite ok.then she suddenly talked to me.not really talked.just acted normal.so its ok?nah,i rather not know.the other is history.so there you have it,the ending,official ending of this stupid thing.haha. (:

now i feel so light.i mean mentally.i feel like a burden has be lifted.but duh,there are other things that weigh me down.got to resolve them soon so i can concentrate on my effing studies.haha. (:

peace out, takkaire. (:

numb to my feelings,numb to emotions,its just unexplainable.

"i'm sorry for

blaming you

for everything

i just couldn’t do

and i’ve hurt myself

by hurting you" - Christina Aguilera, Hurt

i'm a LONER,for now.haha.

thinking it over,yes,its no one's fault that this all happened.things just happens sometimes.and when it comes to the affairs of the heart,my doesn't count as a result of any party.but if really we have to say,i blame myself for making myself so mirserable.i will eventually forget him.i know.but how long?

i'm so emo-feeling and well,just can't comprehend what i'm feeling.i feel like crying and i dunno whats wrong with me la.i mean,its not that i'm touched or angry.i just had a sudden gush of sadness and i felt tears welling up.but i hold them back.

actually,when there are fights like these,you know people better.invovled or not. (:

dun think you know me...cause you really dun...

i thought that i have let you go.but i still get all nervous and uncomfy around you.whats wrong with me?

i'm tired and stressed out.i'm worried and tired with loads of work,dropping grades and effing crap.yeah,push all the work to me.you guys are doing such tedious work.eh~

i'm starting to see you in the dark light. ):

after walking out of the class on wednesday,stories got around.and it seems like everyone got a different story.and its wrong.thanx!

what i dun understand is how you can effing contradict yourself without blinking your eye.you are just ruthless,heartless freak.and if you have got the guts,come talk to me face-to-face,dun go around talking behind my back.too scared to face me?got the creative juices then write your own cheer la.dun come and change my cheer from good to effing crummy.you're ruining my name.i thought you wanna be original?write your own.so disrespectful of you to go around editing cheers without the acknowledgement of the writer and then pass it off as yours.how original.ask us dun stick in a group,then you also dun stay in a group la.slapping your own face yeah?

personally,i feel you have no leadership qualities at all.not that i wanna brag,but from my view,you have no command over the others.its not that they have to listen to you like a squad and commander manner.but a respectful manner.you just dun command that.too bad.but do i look like i care?i just want my cheer to return and not be used in an edited and crunny way.not only is it rhythm-less,it doesn't work with the beats.but what really bugs me is that you took my perfectly fine cheer and transformed it into a really bad crummy cheer.it's pissing me off.

as for the other one.i know you too well.i thought you didn't like the idea of the cheer.and now i see you being to hyped up.why?new alliance,must show enthu side?hah!my ass.let's see how long you'll last.dun let me predict you,prove me wrong.got nothing to do?being a spy for your precious friend?well,obviously,i'm talking about you guys.what more can i do then to oppose you?but the fact still exists.it's true.whatever i say is true and not some fake crap like what you will come up with.oops,saw through your smokescreen?boo~

in conclusion,if you got the guts to face me,come and settle with me.i'm definitely not afraid of you.also,you got the guts and creative juices,write your own cheer.dun use other's work,edit and pass it off as yours.i'm not saying you can't change my cheer.but at least have the courtesy to inform and acknowledge the writers rights.i work professionally.with work,talk is ok.no guts to even talk work?dun be a leader.

stop ruining my life.cause i will let you taste what i'm going through really soon.dun wait for it to come,thinking i won't do it.dun underestimate me.

when you are not true to yourself,how can you fnd true friends?true friends are friends who accept your all,not at one shot but little by little.they know you well after years of being together.they tell you what they think without hesitation because they know you will do the same.they are comfortable around you being themselves with no hidden veil because they know you will too.they smile when you smile and cry when you cry.and when you choose to end your life,they dun jump too,but hold you close and tell you that its not over.you still have them,and if you still go,they'll be there to tear your tears,love your beloved and watch you from below.

why do you talk the "necessary" whenever the situation calls for?it just shows how fake you are.you can go around bluffing the others.but 旁观者清(people who are not invovled sees the clearest,).so grab a flight and fly to some unknown country and stay there.you can start anew. (:

takkaire (:

tell me really

you wanted all this?

you saw it,

you knew it would come

come one day.

but you held on.

what is wrong with you?

who knows what thoughts they think.

they're known for they're different thoughts yeah?

and also they're contradiction.

life goes on.

uoy clal eslevsoyur ym senifrd?ltoylta nto i ehosoc ot asy.uoy erwe verne owh yuo ylreal aer.msaks nia’t puseodsp ot isxet etbnwee iednrsf,fi tshat hwta uoy atrte em.tusj og no twih elfi dan rcayr no wtih rouy oatrdinnsocitc.usjt cyarr no spiitng em.i kiadn klie eht uqtie em orf ocen.ebnig teher ot eehcr ouy gysu pu dan ingmak oolf uot fo flseym newh i eden moes nchergei pu oto.nkhat oyu rfo ienbg husc lnwrfdueo sifedrn!

i dunno what i've become.i'm just totally numb to the fact that i'm performing badly.at least i used to feel sad and cry.now,i just stare at the paper as if it doesn't matter.i does.it does but it just doesn't sink in.i dunno.i'm in a mess.

but i know that there are just freaking great _______ there for me!they use forgotten about it as excuses and also been pms-ing everytime or just suddenly.dun you have to agree that they're real great _______?

i just know everything so so fine!

what hell,i've just accidentally deleted my whole post.what the hell?haiz.i'm too lazy to retype.maybe tomorrow.haiz.tomorrow,they both have plans.and i'm all alone.bleah q: nevermind,i shall enjoy myself at home to the com!haha.then i shall update again.haha. (:

i dunno if its me or that it is a sign of despodency because i have been having feelings for my ex-es one after the other.i keep telling myself that i'm just despo but now it just doesn't seem like it.what to do?tsktsk.

quite blue now.seeya.takkaire. ):

haha...back from camp!hehe...it was fun and i really miss myra and feeq!they are our trainers and it was fun to have them.

i finally got to play the zipline(flying fox)and i broke my record of less than 20sec on the rockwall.haha.but the rockwall was like very short and easy so yeah.haha...anyway kinda wanna go for more camps instead of just going to school.cause school sucks and its boring.haha.

shall update next time.takkaire and peace out. (: